There was definite happiness in the sound…but sadness too. Because she missed me? Or was it something more? What’s going on, Kiera? Was it me? Was my absence and my avoidance finally too much for her? Was I pushing her away? I already knew that answer—I was. I should have found a way to go home already. I shouldn’t have missed our anniversary. I should talk to her. But I can’t.

“I wish I wasn’t so busy. I wish I could just freeze time and come see you. I wish I could hold you. I wish…” I stopped my pointless list of impossibilities and let out a long sigh. I wish we were like we used to be, before I came here, before the secrets seeped in.

Kiera sighed with me. “Yeah…” was all she said in response. I wanted to ask her what she wished for, but I couldn’t; a part of me was too terrified to know.

My stomach tightened and I felt my eyes stinging. “I love you, Kiera.” Please don’t leave me.

“I love you too, Kellan.” I felt the sincerity in her words, and it made some of the ache leave me. At least she truly does loves me. Is that enough?

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” I told her. She told me okay, then we said our goodbyes.

I felt hollow as I stared at my phone. I can’t keep doing this. I just…can’t. I could feel the exhaustion burning my eyelids, leeching energy from my muscles, filling my body with a heaviness I could never fully escape. I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore. Not deeply. I was surviving on shallow gasps, and it wasn’t enough. I needed Kiera. It wasn’t a “want” anymore. It was much deeper and far more desperate.

My phone chimed with a message, and I closed my eyes as a wave of fatigue hit me. I checked the message, and sure enough, it was from Gavin. That made up my mind. I was going home. Matt would have to tie me down to keep me here.

As soon as Matt woke up the next day, I told him my news. As predicted, he wasn’t pleased.

“What? No, you can’t leave right now, Kell. We have one more new song to pick, and the label rejected our last one, so we need to find something to replace it. Now is not a good time.”

I let out a long sigh. He was right on all counts. The last song was proving to be the hardest of them all, and with the label getting pickier about our deeper cuts, it was even more difficult. We’d had to replace the song before this one too. “I know, Matt. But I’m going anyway.”

“Kell—”