His finger pointed down the bus. I didn’t want to look, and yet, I couldn’t stop myself either. The privacy curtain was open, and I could clearly see into the lounging area. My stomach instantly clenched in revulsion as I spotted Kiera, naked, her face a picture of ecstasy as some guy plowed into her, a guy who—once again—bared a striking resemblance to Denny.

No. No, no, no…

I jerked awake, hitting my head on the bunk above me as I unintentionally sat up. Goddamn it. Falling back to my pillow, I let the pain in my throbbing skull envelope me. Feeling the ache was slowly washing away my dream, and I desperately needed that image gone from my brain. Please, don’t let that be her secret. Jesus…please.

Hopping out of bed, I strode to the front of the bus. I needed proof that Kiera wasn’t there, that none of that had actually happened. And thankfully, except for the driver behind the wheel, the front of the bus was empty. Thank God. She wasn’t here…but…that didn’t mean what I’d dreamt about wasn’t happening back home. Fuck.

Needing a physical release, since my headache wasn’t evaporating the dream quickly enough, I dropped to the ground and started doing pushups in the slim aisle. I didn’t stop until I literally couldn’t do anymore. Then I flipped over and started doing crunches. I kept going until I felt like I was going to throw up, and then I did a couple dozen more, just to drive it home. Or punish myself. I wasn’t sure.

I felt minutely better after that, or at least, too worn out to care. About anything. But then I received my first text of the day. It was from Gavin. The rage and pain flooded back in, and I almost broke down. It took all my energy to bring my mood back to an even keel. And it was all for nothing, because when my last text of the day was also from Gavin, the bitter feelings rampaged through me again, and I almost threw my fucking phone against the fucking wall. It was starting to feel like I would never be truly happy again. My mind was on an endless loop of worrying about Kiera, feeling guilty about what I was keeping from her, and desperately trying not to think about Gavin. Any relief I found was brief. Pale. I felt lost. I felt alone. I felt like I was going insane.

But all I could do was keep moving forward, keep trying to hold it all together, and pray I was strong enough to keep everything from falling apart.

“Kell, you coming out with us? It’s St. Patrick’s Day, dude.”