Jenny sighed. “No, sorry, she’s not here. She went home sick, and I don’t blame her…that girl looked awful. I’m going to pop over tomorrow and make sure she’s okay.”

Kiera was sick, and I was stuck. Was that the universe trying to tell me something, or just crappy happenstance? “Oh…okay, thanks.” If she was home but she wasn’t answering her phone, she was probably sleeping. Goddamn it. Now I wanted to be there more than ever. She shouldn’t have to be sick alone.

“Yep, no problem.” Jenny’s voice was bright and trouble-free, and for a moment, I envied her. “Hey, we got your flowers for her. They are gorgeous, Kellan. I put them in the back room, but I’ll take them to her tomorrow. She’s gonna love them.”

A slight smile lifted my lips. “Thanks. Hey, you wanna talk to Evan…because he won’t stop staring at me.”

She laughed. “Yes, please.”

I handed my phone over to Evan, and his scowl finally shifted into a smile. “Hey, Jujube,” he said. “How’s my sexy girl doing?” I instantly tuned him out.

Kiera was sick, and because I’d waited so long to talk to her, she probably thought I’d forgotten our anniversary. Fuck. Had she gone to bed angry? Had she gone to bed…alone?

No. Don’t even contemplate that. But a part of me had to consider it…because I already knew she was keeping something from me. It killed me that I couldn’t question her. It killed me that I doubted her. It killed me that I couldn’t talk to her. It all killed me.

It took me forever to fall asleep that night, and when I did, it wasn’t restful. I was absolutely miserable. Every day it felt like a little more of me was being scooped out. Gutted. I needed something to change, but I didn’t know what, I didn’t know how. I felt more broken than I ever had before, and that made me feel guilty. This was supposed to be the greatest experience of my life. But even this I was ruining.

The nightmare I had a few nights after my missed anniversary shouldn’t have surprised me. But of course, it did. I was back on the bus, practically curled into a ball the cubby felt so small.

“Do you think any of this is going to amount to anything?” I looked over to see my father sitting on the bunk across from me, his face twisted in derision. “Getting signed, recording an album…there’s only one thing that’s going to come from all this. And you know it.”