She started smacking my chest, her earlier anger not entirely gone. I cringed away from her strikes, but I didn’t try and stop her from hitting me. I deserved a little light pummeling; I should have told her. “Because I really didn’t expect much. I didn’t think she’d pick us…and…” And I didn’t want you to see me fail. Your opinion is the only one that truly matters to me.

I stopped talking and Kiera stopped hitting me. Sighing, I grabbed her hands and peeked up at her. “I didn’t want to disappoint you…if she wasn’t interested in us. I know you think I’m going to go all the way…I didn’t want to let you down…” No. I couldn’t let you down. I couldn’t bear it. I’d rather have you never know, then face the disappointment in your eyes.

I looked down; it was like I could see it anyway. Hadn’t I already disappointed her by not telling her in the first place? Wouldn’t she be even more hurt if she knew what else I was hiding…? No. Don’t think about that. This is just about your job.

While I struggled with my guilt and pain, Kiera wrapped her arms around me, squeezing me tight. “God, Kellan, I’d never be disappointed in you…ever.” Pulling back, she cupped my cheeks and made me look at her; her eyes were even glossier. The emotion in them tore me open. “I’m so proud of you, of everything you do, and even if it ended right here, I’d be anything but disappointed in you.”

I knew that wasn’t entirely true, I could easily disappoint her if she knew I was withholding even more from her, but her words—her pride—struck me to my core. Pride was not something I was used to someone feeling for me. It hurt. It healed. Exhaling a long breath, I tried to let my torment go and focus on the matter at hand. My job. Lana was waiting.

Choking back the pain, I looked around us. “Well, I haven’t even told the guys yet…I didn’t want to jinx it, so we need to find them and get them upstairs to sign the legal stuff.” Feeling better, I looked back at her with a raised eyebrow. “That’s what’s going down on the conference room table…not sex.” My mood shifted even more and feeling playful, I grabbed her hips and pulled her into me. “But if you want to, once everyone is gone…I’d never tell you no.”