The glumness wasn’t leaving me. I paid the driver once we stopped, then shuffled over to where the buses were parked. Band members were ambling around outside, greeting each other, talking about their time away. I wasn’t in the mood to join the conversation, so I stuck to the outskirts and stealthily hopped onto the bus.

Evan was inside, banging a beat on the table with his fingers. He raised a hand in greeting when he saw me. I made myself smile as I returned the gesture. It was hard. After putting my bag on my bunk, I sat down beside him. I didn’t feel like speaking, so I didn’t say anything. Evan eyed me up and down, a playful grin on his face. When I fully met his eye, he raised an eyebrow. “So? Still in one piece?”

He pointedly looked at my lap, and a small laugh escaped me. And lightened me. Right…the castration warning. Smiling, I nodded. “Yeah, everything’s still there.” With a frown, I told him, “She made me climb out a window.”

He started laughing. His glee made me feel even better, but my frown deepened. “It’s not funny. It was a second story window.”

Evan closed his eyes, laughing even harder. I briefly grinned, then frowned again as I remembered it. “I could have died. It was snowing outside.”

He snorted, then laid his forehead on the table as he kept laughing. I finally fully grinned, amused by his amusement. “You’re a dick,” I told him, chuckling.

He just kept laughing, and I was grateful. The levity helped. A lot.

By the time Matt and Griffin stepped onto the bus, I felt more like myself. Matt and Griffin joined us at the table, and as I listened to my friends talk about their families, their girlfriends, and their time off, my contentment grew. We’d all needed that break, and even though I’d fucked up with Kiera…I was still grateful for experiencing that moment with her. I was just grateful for her.

As Evan and I laughed about an inane argument that had happened between Matt’s dad and Griffin’s dad during Christmas dinner—one involving a turkey leg, a wishbone, a slice of pecan pie, a sprig of mistletoe, and where they could all be shoved—Griffin suddenly frowned and smacked the table in front of me. “Hey, Kellan.”

Grinning, I turned my head to look at him. “What?” I asked, still laughing.

Griffin’s brow furrowed. “So…how was Anna?”

Surprise made me blink, made my laughter fade. Griffin never asked about a girl, not even Anna. “Uh…fine, I guess.” She had seemed like her normal, happy self at any rate.

My answer made his frown deepen. “Did she ask about me?”

I thought about that a second, then shook my head. “No.”

He seemed surprised to hear that. “Not once?”