I had to close my eyes as the pain assaulted me. I don’t want to think about him. I don’t want to talk about him. But I had to tell her something. “I was completely serious. He doesn’t exist to me, but you…” My voice cracked and I had to pause, had to swallow the sudden lump in my throat. “You do, and I’d like to…I want you in my life.” I wasn’t sure how she would fit in my world, but I knew—the second that she’d said she wouldn’t bother me again—that I couldn’t handle the hole of not having her in my life. I couldn’t go back to the way I was before I’d met her. A small, childlike part of me…needed her.

A small laugh escaped her. “I’m not going anywhere, Kellan. I’m always here for you…you’re family.”

The grin that spread over my face at hearing that brought a lightness to my body, and I could feel the decades of despair that had formed around my heart cracking, melting. Finally, that word might mean something positive to me. “Thank you,” I whispered. “And please…don’t ever say you won’t bother me again. Just…keep bothering me, okay?”

“Stubborn, huh? Yeah, I get that. Kind of a family trait.”

Her words made my stomach clench, but I ignored it. This had nothing to do with him. “So, what have you been up to?” I asked, genuinely curious.

She went on to tell me about school, winter break, a boy she liked…and I loved hearing every word. Finally, she said, “Okay, enough about me, how is life as a rock star?” Before I could tell her anything, she changed her mind on what she wanted to hear about. “How’s your girlfriend?”

The change of direction made me laugh, and smile. “God…she’s great. I can’t wait to see her. Just a couple more days now.”

Hailey sighed, then laughed. “Don’t tell your girlfriend this, but I showed the picture of you and me to my friends…there’s now an official waiting list for you. And there was some serious competition for the top spot. Blood was drawn.”

A laugh burst out of me, and Hailey giggled too. God, it felt great to laugh with her, like a sore muscle being massaged. “Well, sorry to burst all their bubbles, but I’m pretty sure Kiera is the one. No…I am sure. On my end anyway.” Hopefully she felt the same.

“Good. I want an invite to the wedding.”