I woke up well before Kiera. We were in the same position we’d fallen asleep in, and she had her head on my chest, using me as her pillow. God, I loved that. Careful to not wake her, I gently squeezed her body, pulling her even closer to me. It had been such a struggle to get here, where holding her like this only filled me with joy and not regret. I didn’t want life to change, but it was changing on me anyway.

Kiera’s room began to lighten as the sun rose higher, the darkness muting, fading. This was usually when I slipped out of bed to exercise a little before making some coffee, but today…I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to miss a single second with her. And I knew I wouldn’t. Today I was her shadow, whether she wanted me to be or not.

I began stroking her hair, tucking it behind her ear, wishing she would wake up so I could feel the warmth of her love in her eyes, but also not wanting to wake her, because once she woke, the countdown would truly begin. And when it ran out, I’d be gone.

Heart aching with the sting of goodbye, I felt her stir and stretch. Here we go. I abolished any trace of sadness on my face as she lifted her head and looked up at me. “Mornin’,” I whispered, running the back of my finger down her cheek.

The love I felt in her hazel eyes almost undid me. How could I leave this behind? This feeling, this warmth, this tenderness. This was all I’d ever wanted. More than music. More than friendship. And way more than fame. You’re not losing it, Kellan, you’ll just be a little farther away from her for a time. Don’t freak out. She wants this for you. She believes in you. So do it for her. Make her proud.

Well, damn. That tiny shift in the way I thought about this actually made me feel about a million times better. Okay. That was what I’d do, how I’d endure leaving her. Everything I did from here on out was for her. I was going to do this to the best of my ability. I was going to make her proud of me.

Kiera and I spent the next hour just holding each other, savoring the moment. She looked so forlorn when she finally had to pull away from me to get ready for school. She wasn’t yet aware that she wasn’t getting rid of me today. I think she sort of began to figure that out when I followed her into the shower.