‘Bye, Casey. See you soon.’ I wave towards her and Harrison, but don’t wait for the reply because I am back inside the flat, grabbing my bag – hurry, hurry, hurry, calling the lift. Come on. Come on.

I sense Dan behind me, but not close.

Follow me.

Keep away.

The lift doors open and I step into the lift. He’s on the other side of the gap and—

Mind the doors, lift going down.

I don’t know how, but he’s in the lift moments before the doors close and we’re kissing again, my body arching against the cool metal walls as the lift travels down, so we’re suspended between one reality and another.

Dan sets every nerve ending on fire. My hands explore his shoulders, his spine, his waist – his body even more powerful and muscular than I’d have guessed.

And his hands, touching me, make the heat spread everywhere, orange and red and molten gold.

Ground floor, doors opening.

We stop, move a few millimetres apart. The doors open. Beyond the frosted glass of the entrance door, blurred people crowd the dark waterside.

The doors close. We kiss again.

But I can’t. I mustn’t. Because every time we do this, my resolve weakens. And if I give in, it will threaten everything I have planned for.

The doors open again.

‘Dan, I think – I must go. Now.’

He leans in to kiss me again and his hands touch my waist and I think, Hatching.

I shrug him off properly, revolted at myself. I push past, pulling a sleepy Bear with me, backing out of the glass doors onto the quay, staggering towards the next warehouse, resting against the brick.

It takes me a few seconds for the shock to go and for my breath to slow. I’m safe. I stopped myself going further. Even though this night – and Dan – made me want to go all the way.

All the way? I smile to myself. That’s what a teenager would say. But I don’t just mean sexually. It hits me now: I could fall in love with this man.

What if I already have?

It sounds like insanity, but change is coming, whether I like it or not. Soon the waiting will be over and I’ll be ready to start the next phase of my life.

Will Dan be part of it? After our first kiss I went into hiding, and now I’ve run out on him. No one could blame him if he thinks I’m a flake.

That scares me. I get my phone out, type a new message, tweaking and deleting until I think I’ve been as honest as I can without sounding insane:

Sorry. Again. I don’t make a habit of running away but I need a little more time. I won’t blame you if you’ve lost patience, but please don’t. That connection gets stronger every time I see you and I promise I will be in touch soon.

As soon as I’ve sent it, I regret the intensity. Dan has his pick of women, and who wouldn’t walk away from someone as messed up as me?