‘Yeah, Kestrel beach. We used to walk through the nature reserve.’

I look over the treeline, trying not to let my head get too caught up in the memories of the times Joel and I spent here that summer.

‘Look, Edie, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about things. To apologise for how I messed up our friendship with how I acted after …’ He pauses and I don’t think he can bring himself to say that we almost kissed. ‘I was young and I didn’t know any better and then when your mum died—’

‘It’s fine,’ I say, shutting down the conversation because I don’t want to think about how mad I was at Joel the night that she died. For a long time, I blamed myself for my parents’ car accident. Joel too. If I hadn’t confronted him, I would never have been in the state that drove Mum to get in that car. ‘We don’t need to talk about that. You’re right, we were young and it was a long time ago. You know that Soph’s got it in her head that we should all go for a weekend at Hartland’s?’

‘I know, it’s like she wants us all to be friends again, as if no time has passed.’

‘And if we’re going to be friends, all of us,’ I say, looking him in the eye so that he knows I mean he’s who I’m really talking about, ‘I think it’s better that some things just stay in the past. I’m sure if we could go back, we would have done things differently.’

‘I certainly would have.’ He’s staring back into my eyes and it takes my breath away. ‘No need for things to get awkward.’

‘None at all. We just forget it all happened. We pick up where we left off when we were just friends.’

‘Just friends,’ he says. ‘Yeah, that’s all, we ever were, right?’

He raises his eyebrow and attempts a smile and it breaks my heart a little bit. No matter whether it was real or not, or just in my teenage mind, he was the first man I ever really fell in love with, and he never even realised it.

‘Right,’ I say, nodding. It shouldn’t really bother me after all this time that it didn’t mean anything to him, but it does. ‘So, that’s all sorted then?’

‘Yeah. I’m glad, because it’s felt like we’ve been tiptoeing round each other.’

‘I felt that too, but, as you say, no need.’ I stand up and stretch my legs, my calves are tightening from the paddling.

‘I’m getting really stiff. Should my calves hurt this much?’

He stands up and grabs his board.

‘Probably, if you’re not used to it. We should get going before you seize up. You ready?’