Arnold raises an eyebrow at me and my heart pangs.

‘Right, thank you, Lola, for listening to our stories,’ he says. ‘We really enjoyed coming to meet you and we’ll be back to see you next week with some more books. Perhaps you could tell us if that witch one is any good.’

‘It would be handy to know if you’d recommend it to other boys and girls,’ I say.

Lola doesn’t say anything else to us. Her fingers just stay on the book next to her. We take it as our cue to leave and Kate gives us an apologetic shrug as she walks us out into the hall.

‘I’m sorry. She’s not great with anyone at the moment, to be honest.’

‘It’s OK,’ says Arnold. ‘For most children it takes them a little while to warm up to our visits, but we know this is not always the case. Let’s keep our fingers crossed.’

We say our goodbyes, and we load the books into the back of the car before we set off.

‘You did really well in there,’ says Arnold, pulling out of the drive. ‘Especially as I could tell it upset you.’

‘Was it that obvious?’

‘Maybe to an old timer.’

‘I’m usually fine,’ I say, willing the tears not to fall.

‘Grief’s a funny thing, Edie; hit’s you when you least expect it. My wife died ten years ago and yet sometimes it feels like it happened yesterday.’

‘I’m so sorry.’

‘And I’m sorry, for your … mum?’

I nod.

‘You know, Adrian’s a really top bloke. I’m sure if you spoke to him he’d switch you to another child.’

I might have considered it before we came but having seen Lola and the pain she’s going through, I can’t stop now.

‘No, it’s fine. I’m guessing that whichever child I’d be assigned to would have their own challenges. At least with her I can empathise with what she’s going through.’

‘And that might be a way for you two to connect. It might help her knowing that you understand how’s she feeling.’

I bite my lip to ground myself with the pain. I don’t like to talk about it, but maybe I should if it would help Lola.

‘My mum, she died when I was eighteen. I just can’t imagine how hard it would have been to lose her at Lola’s age.’

Arnold purses his lips together.

‘I know, it’s unimaginable. When I think about my grandchildren at that age.’

We drive along without speaking until we pull up at traffic lights.

‘Is it always this exhausting? I feel like I’ve worked a whole week in just an hour.’

‘Ha, I know, it takes me the next day to recover. Good job I’m retired,’ he chuckles.