‘Yeah, you were just too cool to talk to me.’ I pick up a chicken wing, planning to eat a small delicate bite, but I’ve well and truly got the booze munchies and I ravage it like a caveman.

‘That’s not true,’ he says, but we both know it is. Max was one of those kids at school – the ones that everyone worshipped, whereas Rach, his sister, and I… well, we’d struggle to find anyone that knew our names.

‘So, aren’t you like some kind of rocket scientist?’ he asks.

‘A data analyst, so not quite.’

‘Still impressive,’ he says with a head bob. He eats a chicken wing quicker than I did. ‘And do you live around here? I know Rach comes up to stay with you, but I thought you lived in Ealing or somewhere out that way.’

I’m slightly flattered that he knows where I used to live.

‘Yeah, I used to, but I got a new job and was finding the commute too long. I live in Clapham North now.’

‘Oh, not far from me. I’m in Brixton.’

Of course I know this fact.

‘Cool,’ I say.

We both look down at our food that we’ve decimated.

‘I guess we were hungry,’ I say.

‘Yeah. I needed that. So, um, did you want me to make sure you get home safely?’

‘Sure,’ I say, and as we leave to find a taxi I try and stop myself from having a mild panic attack. He’s just being polite and he’ll drop me off on his way past in a cab.

It turns out that Max wasn’t just being polite because he is now standing in my living room drinking a quick nightcap of limoncello, which was the only spirit I had in.

‘You know, it’s a really long way back to Brixton,’ says Max, stretching out his arms and faking a yawn.

‘Yeah,’ I say, agreeing, even though I know it’s a very short bus ride away. ‘You know, you can always stay here.’

‘Thanks, that would be great. Of course, I’ll sleep on the sofa.’

‘How perfectly gentlemanly of you,’ I say.

‘Naturally,’ he says, and he takes a step closer to me. My heart is pounding. He’s looking at me in the same way he was looking at his chicken before he devoured it.

‘But, you know, I think I’m going to have a little trouble getting this costume off.’

‘I could help you out of it.’

‘Well, that would be the gentlemanly thing to do.’

He nods.

‘It might be easier to do it in my bedroom.’

‘Of course,’ he says, holding his arm out as if to say lead the way. He follows me into my room and, as soon as the door slams shut, he launches himself at me, kissing me furiously.