‘We haven’t had much time to get to know each other properly, and that’s my fault.’ I think of the emails and how they’ve made me that much braver and how they’ve been pushing me to be more open. ‘Seeing you with Dad is harder than I expected it would be. I didn’t realise how him meeting someone that he really cared about would affect me and it left me feeling unsure how I would fit into his new life. I’m sorry; it sounds so pathetic, especially when I’ve wanted him to meet someone and to finally move on for so long. It’s just hard.’

Julie smiles with compassion.

‘I know how much you mean to your dad. He talks about you all the time and he is so proud of you. But I understand that it must be hard, especially as your mum sounded like such a wonderful woman and I don’t want to get in the way of her memory. I know he still loves her and he always will, and that’s OK. He’s got a big heart. He’s allowed to love her and me, and you. There’s room for all of us in his life.’

I don’t know how I’m holding it together. She really is the nicest woman he could have picked.

The nurse comes in and tells us that we can go in one at a time.

‘Thank you, I needed to hear that.’ I smile at her to show that there’s no bad blood between us. ‘Do you mind if I go first? I promise I’ll be quick.’

‘Of course, I wouldn’t expect it any other way.’

I squeeze her hand and the nurse leads me onto the ward, and behind the curtain to where my dad is.

He looks terrible. He’s so pale and he looks so much older than he did when I last saw him at work on Friday. He’s hooked up to machines that are whirring away and he just seems so vulnerable.

I sit down, taking his hand in mine.

‘Sorry for giving everyone such a fright,’ he says, like every word is an effort.

‘When you’re better I’ll give you a proper telling off. I don’t know about you, but I almost had a heart attack when I heard the news.’

He tries to smile, but winces in pain as he does so.

‘I thought I was going to lose you.’ A tear rolls down my cheek and I try and hold it together. ‘I thought …’

‘Edie, I’m not going anywhere, not yet anyway.’

He squeezes my hand back. There’s so much I need to say to him but he looks so tired. Now’s not the time.