‘But are you happy?’ he asks. He peers at me and his eyes search mine and it makes me feel I can’t hide the truth from him. ‘When we were eighteen you couldn’t think of anything worse than working there.’

‘How many people get to do what they wanted to do when they were eighteen?’

He coughs and raises his eyebrows.

‘Except you.’

‘Soph went into PR, I’m guessing Brett wanted to always play the guitar.’

He’s making it sound so easy.

‘It just wasn’t an option for me. When Mum died, everything changed. It was such a shock and it hit everyone, not just me. My dad was a complete mess, he …’ I’d usually tiptoe around his drinking but I can’t keep doing that any more. ‘He started to drink too much. It got to the stage where I didn’t know which days were worse, the ones where he showed up to the office still drunk or the ones when he didn’t show up at all because he couldn’t get out of bed.’

‘I’m sorry. I had no idea.’

I know he’s looking at me but I keep staring out onto the horizon because if my eyes meet his I’ll start to cry.

‘I didn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t tell the people at work and all my friends had left for university. Soph did try and reach out a few times, but I fobbed her off with work.

‘Those first years trying to get over Mum’s death, helping to keep the company afloat and trying to care for Dad, they were the worst of my life.

‘I know he’s been sober now for almost fourteen years, but I’m always worried that something might tip him over the edge and he’ll reach for the bottle once again. I feel like if I’m working with him and seeing him every day that I’m keeping an eye on him. That this time I’d know when something was really wrong and it’ll make up for me not acting sooner the last time.’

I rake the sand with my fingers.

‘You can’t blame yourself for what your dad did. You were so young and your mum had just died.’

‘I know, but I still do.’

‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed. What you’ve been through, it’s no wonder you’re still there.’

I swallow and wipe my glistening eyes with the sleeve of my fleece.