As the others started to leave the room, I realised that Dad and Caitlin may not have finished their meeting, so I hung around, pretending to read the literature for a bit. When I thought the coast was clear, I walked into the main hall, not wanting to disturb anything.

Dad was right in the middle of talking to the group when I walked into the space and I didn’t know if I should stay or walk outside into the rain. The group leader directed me to a couch behind the adults around the table.

Dad noticed me so he didn’t hesitate telling his story. He was near crying as he said, ‘Sometimes I am so angry and frustrated by my ex-wife’s drinking that I literally see red. And there’s days when I’m lecturing, standing in front of a room full of students, wanting to give my best and all I can think about is if she’s going to pick up my daughter after school or if she’s in a gutter somewhere. I can’t focus, I’m a nervous wreck and the worst thing is that I know I take it out on my daughter and on my partner Caitlin, when all I want to do is give my best to them. I want to find a way to make my ex-wife stop drinking, so I can stop feeling all of these things.’

I could see other members of the group flinching when Dad talked about wanting to find a way to stop Mum drinking. I think I was already getting the point that stopping Mum drinking was impossible, that all I could do was change how I reacted to it.

And on the car ride on the way home, Dad went on a bit about how no one talked about how they made their alcoholic stop drinking. How it was so frustrating hearing all the people talking about the terrible things their alcoholics had done to them, but not one of them told him how to make it stop.

Caitlin said, ‘But I think I feel a bit better getting things off my chest.’

‘We’ll that’s a start, isn’t it?’ I asked.

There was silence for a while and then I said, ‘In my group, Sue keeps saying that we should go to at least six meetings to see if it’s for us. Did they say the same thing in your group?’

‘Yeah,’ Dad said.

‘Well I’m going to keep going,’ I told them.

Dad and Caitlin shared a smile. ‘Us too.’

I promised myself that every day I would remind myself to accept the things I cannot change, have the courage to change the things I can and develop the wisdom to know the difference.