The me from that time didn’t know how unreliable Mum actually was. I didn’t understand all of the things that Dad was doing to keep us all together, and that even after Mum left him, he was still trying. I realised it wasn’t Caitlin’s fault that Dad and Mum didn’t get back together. Dad was trying, and Mum just let him go, like she was letting the house go. Like she was letting me go.

As I sat on my bed crying, I started wondering if Mum had really lost her licence from speeding or if she’d actually lost it because of drink driving. I hated that I couldn’t trust her, that the only thing she wouldn’t let go of was her drinking.

I felt Mum sit next to me and then she put her arm around me.

‘It’s only for a little while, Pheebs,’ she said.

‘What’s only for a little while?’ I sobbed.

‘Moving out. We’ll be back in this house before we know it,’ she said as I looked around the walls of my room that were now bare apart from smudges of Blu-Tack.

Once I’d boxed up all of my things, we got a ride straight back to Nana’s and I set about doing up my room there. I messaged Jane to say I was busy with Mum and couldn’t make it after all. There was no way I wanted her and Katie to know what was going on. It was embarrassing, and sad.

Mum spent the night in. She was all cagey and I knew she wanted a drink, but somehow she got through it all without going to the bottle shop, without taking off, without Simon dropping in to take her out.

The only thing that gave me some relief that weekend was Caroline messaging me back to say that she’d go with me to basketball training straight after school later in the week. It was nice to know someone wanted to spend time with me. And as a bonus, maybe I’d catch a glimpse of Trent too.

CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 11

School was a complete write-off on the second day of basketball training. At morning circle, everyone was going about their singing, but I was in a daydream, stressed about Mum losing her licence and being with Simon, and moving in with Nana.

Ingrid walked towards me, all intense as usual, and asked me to step outside with her. I was certain that she was going to yell at me or something for not singing the school songs.

Instead, she sat on one of the benches out the front of the hall and patted the seat next to her for me to sit down. I sat and she smiled. ‘Phoebe, is everything okay?’

I looked at Ingrid, trying not to give anything away. If I thought about things too much I knew that I would cry.