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Back My Spare Heart Save as PDF
Chapters (25)
  1. COVER PAGE
  2. PRAISE
  3. DEDICATION
  4. CHAPTER 1
  5. CHAPTER 2
  6. CHAPTER 3
  7. CHAPTER 4
  8. CHAPTER 5
  9. CHAPTER 6
  10. CHAPTER 7
  11. CHAPTER 8
  12. CHAPTER 9
  13. CHAPTER 10
  14. CHAPTER 11
  15. CHAPTER 12
  16. CHAPTER 13
  17. CHAPTER 14
  18. CHAPTER 15
  19. CHAPTER 16
  20. CHAPTER 17
  21. CHAPTER 18
  22. CHAPTER 19
  23. RESOURCES
  24. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  25. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

‘See how things go for a few months without visiting your mum,’ Caitlin explained, like it was the best idea in the world. ‘Maybe it’ll give her some time to think about things and get some help. And maybe it will give you some time to get some stability, to be able to enjoy school and your friends, to be a normal seventeen year old.’

I thought about what they were saying, but yeah nah. ‘I don’t think you get it,’ I told them. ‘Yeah, it really sucks seeing Mum drunk and doing reckless things, but it’d be a lot worse not seeing her at all.’

Dad sighed and shot Caitlin a look, searching for a response. She was silent for a while before telling me, ‘That’s good to know, Phoebe, and we’re not going to make you do anything that you don’t want to do. I guess we will keep working and trying to find ways to make things a bit easier on all of us.’

Hearing Caitlin say that brought me some relief, but I didn’t really know what was going on in Dad’s mind, and whether he’d keep trying to talk me into not seeing Mum. I hoped not, for everyone’s sake.

CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER 15

On the morning after we returned from Country, I messaged Caroline.

Phoebe: How was the Autumn Fair? Caroline: It was okay but I’ve been to so many now they’re starting to get a bit boring. Phoebe: How so? Caroline: When I was in primary school the Autumn Fair seemed like the best day on earth. I was excited about our stall or whatever we were doing. Caroline: Then once the fair was done, I’d run across the oval to get on the rides and eat fairy floss. But it just doesn’t feel as big anymore, and that’s a bit sad.
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I thought about what Caroline had said about the fair not feeling so big, and wondered how Country actually seemed bigger this visit even though I’d been through so much since I’d last been back.

Caroline: How was your trip back home? Phoebe: Yeah really good, it just helped me to settle down, to get grounded. I feel different when I go home. Caroline: It sounds good. I’d like to go there sometime. Phoebe: We’ll take you there soon, for sure!
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The next week at school, I was working on my SOSE project about Patty Mills when I realised I didn’t really know where to start.

I pulled on the new ugg boots that Dad had brought back from New Zealand and then I remembered an article that he had pointed out to me ages ago. Dad had shown me an article in Sports Illustrated about how the head coach of the San Antonio Spurs, Gregg Popovich, did a presentation about Eddie Mabo before one of their play-off games. Mabo is a relative of Patty Mills and Patty had no idea that Popovich was going to rev up his team by speaking about his relative who had fought so hard to win Native Title rights, not only for his own people in the Torres Strait, but Aboriginal people across the country. Patty went out and owned that game, which took the Spurs through to the championships.

I found the article online, as well as an article about Patty having special Mabo edition kicks made for him. I was really starting to get into jotting down some notes when I heard Caitlin walk down the hallway.

‘How’s it going?’ she asked as she squeezed my shoulders.

‘Just researching,’ I told her. ‘My concentration is finally good enough that I can actually write some things down.’

‘What do you mean?’