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Back My Spare Heart Save as PDF
Chapters (25)
  1. COVER PAGE
  2. PRAISE
  3. DEDICATION
  4. CHAPTER 1
  5. CHAPTER 2
  6. CHAPTER 3
  7. CHAPTER 4
  8. CHAPTER 5
  9. CHAPTER 6
  10. CHAPTER 7
  11. CHAPTER 8
  12. CHAPTER 9
  13. CHAPTER 10
  14. CHAPTER 11
  15. CHAPTER 12
  16. CHAPTER 13
  17. CHAPTER 14
  18. CHAPTER 15
  19. CHAPTER 16
  20. CHAPTER 17
  21. CHAPTER 18
  22. CHAPTER 19
  23. RESOURCES
  24. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
  25. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

‘You go get a table and I’ll drop her to you,’ Caitlin said. Mum nodded.

Caitlin and I made our way home. I rushed to get ready and then she drove me over to the pub. When she pulled the car over out the front she gave me a kiss on the forehead and said, ‘Call me straightaway if you need anything.’

‘I will,’ I reassured her.

‘Love you,’ she said.

When I walked in, Mum and Nana were seated at a table by the fireplace, drinking coffees and looking at the menu.

‘You look lovely,’ Nana said, and Mum asked what I wanted to drink.

I know I could have gotten a Coke, but I asked for a chai latte. I checked out the menu while Mum ordered.

I don’t know if it was because I was in a good mood because of the happy brain chemicals from playing basketball, or because Mum had been sitting in the pub for at least half an hour and she didn’t have a glass of wine in her hand, but I didn’t feel as tense as usual when I was around her.

Yes, I was still aware of all she’d put me through over the last few months, and I was expecting her to order a glass of wine at any minute, but I was glad that she was there with me.

As we ate, Nana asked me about school and I told her and Mum about my presentation, downplaying it, although I was still really proud of what I’d been able to pull off. And it must’ve been because we were onto dessert and Mum still hadn’t ordered a drink that I said, ‘I’m looking forward to the school music performance night in a couple of months. You haven’t forgotten, have you?’

‘Of course not, Phoebe,’ Mum said. ‘You put it in my diary, remember?’

‘It sounds lovely, dear,’ Nana said.

Mum asked, ‘What are you singing?’

I was dying to tell her, but instead I said again, ‘You’ll just have to wait and see.’

‘It’s killing me, Pheebs,’ she said and laughed. ‘Fine. Want to play a game of pool?’

Mum and I played a couple of games of pool before we left the pub. It was nice to see her relaxing and acting a bit more like her old self, not the drunk one I’d got used to. Nana dropped me home when we were done.

While it was a good night, I remembered the things I’d learned in my meetings with Jamie and the others, the ups and downs of addiction. I knew not to hang my hopes on Mum being sober forever. I was just glad that she was sober right now.

CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 18

Early one Saturday morning during the May school term break, Caitlin got her way and I joined her for a yoga class. I thought, Why not?