I raced into my group’s room at the end of the hall. Jamie was there by himself as Sue was busy getting things ready. I whispered to him, ‘Hey Jamie, I’ve been meaning to ask. You were drinking beer at Caroline’s party that night last month. How can you do that when your dad’s an alcoholic?’

He didn’t even need a second to think about it and whispered back immediately, ‘My dad’s the problem drinker, not me. If it was a problem, I’d like to think I’d get help. It doesn’t matter if I drink or not, it’s not going to make a difference to Dad. Dad’s the only one that can change things.’

I think I understood what Jamie meant. For as long as we lived there’d be people drinking around us and drugs available, and it was our choice what we did. It was Mum’s choice whether she abused alcohol or not – and whether she asked for help.

Once Sandy and Ryan rocked up the meeting started the same as it did the previous times I had attended, with Sue reading a statement about alcoholism.

I thought about Dad and Caitlin in the next room, hearing the same words.

Then Sue asked Sandy to read a passage from one of the books about being in a relationship with an alcoholic. The passage was about promises, what it means when they’re kept and what it feels like when they’re broken. The disappointment, the self-blaming and self-loathing. Sue asked Sandy if she’d like to comment.

Sandy immediately looked teary and said angrily, ‘Mum just can’t keep promises. She always makes them, but she can’t keep them. Sometimes she promises us big things like getting a new job and she’s always promising us that she’ll get sober. And then there’s the little promises like she’ll pick us up from somewhere on time. But none of these things ever happen, because she’s drunk or goes back to drinking just when we think she’s got over it all. So I don’t even listen to the promises she makes anymore, I just try to do things by myself. Ryan and I can catch buses and trains by ourselves if Dad isn’t around to take us places. And I guess because Mum doesn’t keep promises, and I know what that feels like, I keep promises to my friends, and I definitely keep promises to myself.’