and there was his dad trying to sing him back

to sing him back home to us

Two

TWO

CHRISTIE on an empty street

Footfalls

Stink of diesel

Rain

I’ve got nothing

I never had much but I’ve got nothing now

for some people that’s as good as me being a criminal

I’m treated like a criminal

the looks I get are terrible

I have to turn away

I don’t know what my face must look like

I hope that it doesn’t look like I feel

I’d hate to think I looked like that

I don’t want my feelings on show because I’m ashamed of them

I never thought I’d feel like I do when people look at me

I never thought I’d feel so worthless

I couldn’t have imagined such a thing

I imagined different things about myself

I forget what they were

but they were better

I thought better of myself

I don’t think anything about myself now

I’ve given all that up

I wouldn’t know how to anymore

I don’t know who I am

I’m just nobody

/

who knows what I might have been

or even who I was once upon a time

there’s no what might have been and no what will be anymore

I wake up every day thinking it might be my last

and sometimes I lie down at night wishing it had been

/

a little boy chased me a few weeks ago

like a wild little bird he was

pecking at my heels and calling me all sorts of names

he couldn’t have been more than ten years old

but the language he used would have shamed a fucking navvy

you get away from me I said you get back home where you belong

but he didn’t take no notice

he just kept at me like a magpie peck peck pecking

so I had to turn around to him and lift my hand

I said to him if you don’t leave me alone I’ll give you a crack around the earhole

and then he laughed he cackled

you’ve got arseholes for earholes he said

haven’t you got nothing better to do than cause me fucking trouble I said

no he said I fucking haven’t

so I took a swing at him and caught him right across the top of the head

and his head was as hard as a rock

he just stood there looking at me

cunt he said you old cunt piss off out of my street you old cunt

it’s not your street I said

anyone who wants can walk down this street and no-one’s got a right to stop them

you stink he said

I might stink I said but I know my rights

and I’ve got manners too which is more than I can say for you