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Back Me Three Save as PDF
Chapters (34)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. 10 Rules for Living a Lucky Life
  4. 1
  5. 2
  6. 3
  7. 4
  8. 5
  9. 6
  10. 7
  11. 8
  12. 9
  13. 10
  14. 11
  15. 12
  16. 13
  17. 14
  18. 15
  19. 16
  20. 17
  21. 18
  22. 19
  23. 20
  24. 21
  25. 22
  26. 23
  27. 24
  28. 25
  29. 26
  30. 27
  31. 28
  32. 29
  33. 30
  34. Acknowledgments

My mom stared at me. I could see how hard she was trying to seem like everything was okay, even though it wasn’t. “Rodney, I can’t answer that.”

I felt like someone cut the bottom out of my stomach and let my heart fall out.

“It’s too soon to discuss what the future might bring,” said my mom. “I just don’t want you to worry.” Ha. Ha, ha. Good one, Mom!

I hoped that meant she wasn’t going to leave my dad. Because then we would have to live here forever, staring at stone butts in the sky.

“Thank god you registered us under your last name,” said my sister. “Or there’s no way I’d be going back to school.”

She was right. Even if the song was wrong, I didn’t want to be connected to it.

“People will forget,” said my mom. “And we will adjust. We will keep adjusting. Humans are infinitely adaptable. Things will get better.”

I didn’t think I was infinitely adaptable. I was at my limit, adaptation-wise. I had a lot of questions. When would things get fixed? When would Missy Stephenson apologize? Why did Van Johnson talk about his friend Kylie? I didn’t remember anyone on the crew with that name. It was all lies. I was going to say something, but my mom was sort of pale and sad, and Kate looked like an angry stick person, so I didn’t. I would ask my dad next time we went to visit him. Maybe I would write Missy Stephenson a letter!

“Okay,” I said. “It’s fine.”

“You’re delusional,” said my sister. “We are in hell and Daddy put us here.”

So that’s it for me, I guess.

Rodney

10

Hey, Larry,

I wonder how things are going at Circle Square? Are Tammy and Phil still trying to be co-class presidents because they can’t be apart for ten seconds? Their parents must worry they’re going to be the youngest people to ever get married in Vegas, which is, as you know, pretty young. To be honest, I wonder why I’m still writing this. Like I said, I’m never sending it. I guess talking to you is a habit, and even though all the talk is one-way, it still makes me feel better. Or something like that.

Here’s the latest from Stony Butt if you’re reading this, Stony Butte if my mom ever sees it. Ha.