“Van Johnson. For telling lies.”

My mom rubbed the knees of her exercise tights. She’d been working out in the living room when the video came on. The tights had cheetahs all over them.

“I think it’s best just to let it go,” she said. “Your father has, ah, shown poor judgment.”

“He’s been a pig!” said Kate.

I thought about my dad saying there had been some misunderstandings. I thought about how huggy he is. I think it’s because of him being from England, which is practically in Europe, where everyone kisses everyone and hugs a lot. Dad said that some people are extremely sensitive and politically correct now, and I believe him, even though I’m not sure what politically correct means. I think it means that you get offended at the slightest thing. My dad says it’s one of the worst things you can be. Which makes no sense, since Van Johnson’s main thing is offending people.

My dad would never act like a creep with women at work. He’s married to my mom, who wears cheetah tights and is very pretty. Everyone likes him and he’s very funny and most of our friends wish they had a dad as cool as mine. Except maybe Johan, because it’s even more cool to have a dad who is the lead singer in a band like 52 Pickup. Obviously, Johan’s dad has a lot of tattoos and is really rich. But Johan is just like the rest of us. Just because his dad is a rock star doesn’t make Johan a rock star. Johan is not as cool as his dad just like I’m not as cool as my dad.

I kept thinking about some of the sayings and quotes we learned at Circle Square to help our self-esteem. There was that one our teacher told us that was supposed to be from the Buddha? It was something like “Don’t believe anything, no matter where you read it or who said it, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”

Then our teacher told us that the Buddha didn’t really say that, and she explained about bad translations and misinformation, and we talked about how just because we find a quote on the internet doesn’t mean we should believe it. She also said that the world was more complex than we imagine.

Overall, it was a pretty confusing talk that didn’t do anything for my self-esteem. But I wish Buddha did say that quote because my common sense tells me that my dad didn’t deserve that song.

“Look, kids,” said my mom. “I know this must feel awful. It certainly does to me. But things won’t always be like this. Your father has to deal with his own decisions.”

“Are you guys getting divorced?” I asked.