“Rodney,” said someone. I’m not sure who. But I still wasn’t really breathing and thought that I was going to pass out if I didn’t get away.

I finally got my bike loose and I jumped on and started to pedal. I was wobbling all over the place and nearly fell, but I didn’t, and soon I was pedaling so hard I couldn’t even keep up with myself. It was like my feet were spinning on nothing. My thoughts spun too—pictures in my mind of King laying there, dead, and my dad not answering when I asked when he was going to sue the ladies and Lallie saying I made her uncomfortable and Kate asking my dad to explain about Larry’s mom. My whole stupid body was crying now. It was like being punched all over.

I didn’t look back. Just rode and rode and rode and felt the invisible punches land.

25

Dear Diary?

About an hour after I got home there was a knock at the door. I thought it might be the police, come to arrest me for being involved in gun theft and the shooting of an innocent horse. The thought made me almost start crying again, even though I was so dehydrated it was hard to believe that I had more tears. I drank four huge glasses of water as soon as I got home, and I kept having to go pee every ten minutes.

One thing TV and movies taught me was that you had to answer the door when it was the police.

My mom was at the community center teaching Pilates classes for the afternoon, and Kate was locked in her room. I was glad no one was around. All the crying would have upset my mom and showed how much less tough I am than my sister.

Ben was on the front step.

“Hey, Rodney,” he said. He had his bike helmet on. He really wears that thing everywhere.

“Hi,” I said. And I gulped. Told myself not to lose it again.

“The horse is okay,” he said.

All at once I felt about twenty times better. And that made my eyes start leaking again. I rubbed a fist into them to try and make them stop. I think I might have a problem. What kind of person cries this much? What kind of guy?

“Yeah, he was just dazed. I guess he’s done that before. Fallen over and sort of knocked himself out.” Ben made a gesture with his hand to show the horse falling over backward. “Boom,” he said.

“That’s good,” I said, trying to control my breathing and not show my emotions.

“Fisherman’s aunt came back early, and he is in trouble. Like massive trouble. It’s good you left when you did.”

“What kind of massive trouble?” I asked.