I didn’t feel anything. Would I feel it, if it were there, though? I wasn’t certain if Sam’s scar was raised. I didn’t remember feeling it before. I knew that it was visible, though. I had seen it. I turned towards the mirror and strained to see his shoulder. The mirror was located on the opposite side of where the scar would be, so it was difficult to get a look at the correct area.

I lifted my head, craning my neck, trying to see the right spot. I peered around trying to get a clear view, but the area I needed to see was just out of sight.

Suddenly, my eyes flew open, and I was fully awake. I hadn’t been able to glimpse the section of shoulder that I needed for confirmation, but I knew without a doubt whether I had wanted to see the scar or not.

2

I had wanted the scar to be on his shoulder. I had desperately wanted it to be there. My subconscious desired dark, dangerous Sam Davis. I longed for him with every fiber of my being––conscious, subconscious and everything in between. I wanted him to the depths of my soul, and I knew it without a doubt.

Sam’s twin brother, Seth, was a terrific person, but I didn’t have the same all-consuming passion with him that I had with Sam. Seth deserved to be someone’s first choice, not a substitute for his brother.

Choosing Sam was risky, even without considering the baby I was carrying. He was a player, and I didn’t know if he was capable of altering his Playboy ways, or if he would even want to change. I was certain that the thought of a baby would completely freak him out, especially considering that it could be his brother’s.

I cringed at the turn my thoughts had taken. How had I gotten myself into this situation? It just wasn’t me, or at least not how I wanted to perceive myself, anyway.

I would worry about the baby, and who its biological father was later. My first order of business should be to find Sam and tell him I want to be with him. I had finally made a definite choice, and it was time to act on it. I wasn’t at all sure that Sam would be able to handle a monogamous relationship or the fact that a baby that was coming, but I needed to give him the chance.

I decided to take small steps so as not to freak him out too much all at once. First, I would let him know that I had chosen him. Then maybe we could act out some of the scenes from my steamy dream. We could figure out the rest later.