me: yeah

L

like 3:30-now

Ex-boyfriend: my ne true loves on r u chattin wirh her J

me: ;)

yeah she’s sitting next to me

we’ve been talking about you

and your cool dick

she says ‘i miss your cool dick kisskisskisskisskisskiss!!!’

i wanna watch jeop

i eating papaya mon

bati boy

Sent at 6:58 PM on Tuesday

Ex-boyfriend: bati

pennsylvanianlottery

where u gat papi, papi

let itngo bad we can throw it in lake nummy

me: lookin for jeop

fuckin

mexico

one plate at a time

fu kin

Ex-boyfriend: (an actual lake in NJ)

chan 6

me: OH I GOT IT

we got a canadian on our hands

saskatchewan

Ex-boyfriend: canadian girl

regina

me: yeah

yeah

rhymes with…

Ex-boyfriend: ah, green short

luck of the brogue

im gonna focus now peqce

me: kk me too

alex likes to start off the week with a big win, he is nice

Sent at 7:01 PM on Tuesday

me: jesus that text unscrambler thing. ‘trout: that’s the fish’

Ex-boyfriend: rewindind to catch stuff i missed

me: oic

Ex-boyfriend: im a strug

oh great, got it

worked 7 hours today on doddly affairs

u twlk to dad?

me: nah

i’m a bad dog today

call dad tonight

Ex-boyfriend: o???.

oic

me: i just went gug gug

jeop back

Ex-boyfriend: datong websites peace

me: the guy looks like real estate agent

peace

Sent at 7:07 PM on Tuesday

7:07PM: christine, a contestant from regina, saskatchewan, visited alex trebek’s hometown of sudberry, ontario when she was a child. alex asked if she remembered anything. she said ‘why yes, alex, i did!’ and talked about deciding not to be a miner after visiting a nickel mine, but she enjoyed the science center. alex looked pleased. i think alex is a good person. he said ‘i like to start the week with a big win.’

alex said ‘christine! you knew this! be audacious! go again!’ christine kept flinching when she knew the answer but rachel or the other guy would buzz in first. alex says things he thinks no one hears, i think, like ‘the nineties: a decade not far away from now’ and ‘trout: that’s the fish’ and ‘yes, ‘showboat,’ which was filmed right here in this studio.’

christine lost. here is the rest of the gchat:

me: knew rachel would only do 1000

Ex-boyfriend: i hate rachel

alex doesnt care about cathedral arches

me: she had to say ‘weigh’

‘what is weigh’

she was right thoguh

yeah i know, he doesn’t

he cares about the big nickel

in sudberry

he just wants to hear about the science center from his hometown

sudberry ontario

Ex-boyfriend: what was about weigh

me: anchors

and decisions

forget category name

Ex-boyfriend: oh yeah

words ending in gh

me: yeah

i liked the scrambled fish

the fish unscrambler

Sent at 7:13 PM on Tuesday

me: imagine how much slower it would be if the audience clapped

after every answer

Ex-boyfriend: lo

l

mom knew Brigadune

me: dayng

mama [mom’s name]