sometimes felt ‘dwarved’ by how much alec and alexandra knew about things…movies/culture things…like i wasn’t sure what i could contribute to the conversation if i talked. felt like an imposter a little bit, talking to them, like ‘how can they not know i’m not smart, somehow they aren’t picking up at how i’m an imposter.’ alec said something that struck me. it reminded me of how my parents sometimes talk in a ‘richard yates-y’ way where they think they’re concealing something. alec was talking about a woman in a fellini movie who…i forget. alexandra liked the movie. the movie is about a woman with some degree of clairvoyancy. think alec was saying something like she was self-involved and unaware of her craziness. thought he was like, saying a parable or something, about me, that he might think of me as similar to his interpretation of the woman in the movie, based on our recent interactions and me seeming flaky or depressed and self-involved and maybe losing some kind of awareness. the thing alec was saying about the woman didn’t seem related to other things, and alexandra wasn’t agreeing or disagreeing. i hadn’t seen the movie. alec said something like ‘i’m sorry, i don’t know how i got to talking about that for so long’ at the end. felt embarrassed and wanted to make a joke, like i wanted to say ‘i get it i get it, the woman in the movie is kind of like me.’ also thought ‘this isn’t about me at all, i’m projecting/being crazy and overthinking.’ we talked about keurig cups, funny things about the future, reading ‘star charts’/astrology, ways to make coffee, google glass, i think…there were funny things i’m now forgetting. we developed a running joke type thing about ‘buying and selling,’ like, financial jargon. forget how that happened.

something about pace university, that’s where alexandra went and where colin went. we talked until it was dark and alexandra wanted to go home, via not having a bike light yet. alec asked alexandra to text him when she got home and she said she would, and had forgotten to last night due to her roommates talking, and alec said ‘i figured that’s what happened.’