2:45PM: looked at 20-30 facebook pictures of someone i sort of dated in 2008 to see if he was still attractive. he was. not as attracted to him as i remember, but still good. not 30+ pictures good, ho ho ho. oh yuck at me.

3:58PM: emailed matthew donahoo my response. looked for video of myself crying, for rion’s video thing. couldn’t find. guess i’ll make a new one.

4:05PM: i’ve been sitting in this chair for longer than some of you have been planting corn. some of you just started planting corn a few minutes ago. i’m an old pro. i’m a bass pro outdoor fishing outlet store. there is a mall in maryland where you get off an exit called ‘coca cola drive’ and enter the mall on something called ‘bass pro drive.’

4:14PM: you can say ‘several’ or ‘many’ or ‘mostly’ or ‘always’ but probably…you can also say ‘probably’…you want to avoid ‘always’ and ‘never’ because someone can probably always correct you. i learned that in law school.

4:16PM: look, another day where i didn’t do what i said i would do. gotta try going to macmedics before they close at 5pm.

4:22pm: dressed in jeans, blue button-down, black cardigan. That sentence was to inform you of what I’m wearing. Laughed a little, ‘on purpose,’ thinking ‘I hate you’ mostly at myself.

4:27pm: exited apartment while making eye contact with Shirley, thinking ‘I got rats on my head but don’t call me the rat king’ like how the Andy milionakis theme song is ‘got bees on my head but don’t call me a bee head.’ contemplated each versions of theme song walking to my car. Remembered David Bowie song thing from this morning as I entered car.

4:31pm: just thought I heard Shirley meow to my right. Have heard ‘her’ meow three times since previous sentence.

4:39pm: unrolled window so ‘Shirley’ could have fresh air while I smoked. It’s just…that…bookbag is arranged in such a way that it looks like her cat carrier on the seat the other night.

4:47pm: no way I’ll make it to macmedics by 5pm. Still want to drive. Bumper sticker on Prius says ‘hybrid cars: so many miles, so little gas.’ Shithead. Haven’t eaten since jelly beans. Food is hard. The least they could’ve done was made it so there was only one thing people could eat.

4:54pm: when I looked at not-as-attractive-as-I-remember person’s facebook pictures I thought ‘yeah but look at how much better he’s doing than you. Also look at how you look, man.’ pictured him reading this, grimacing and sucking air through the sides of his mouth, yanking collar for comic effect.