why does that bother me? because i think i’m the only person who experiences sadness/depression ‘correctly?’ i don’t think that. okay, so problem solved. i don’t think that anymore, maybe those people really do feel as sad as they seem to want to be perceived to be. they probably do, because they’ve been alive long enough to know how to type. they’re just different. i don’t know. people can bond over anything. seems like a lot of people are just looking for friends. i’m not shittalking that, i want that too. going to try to do this logically, as an ‘i’m so sad lol’ person, assuming their ‘starting mood’ is neutral/not sad, really going to try to some brain surgery on this one:

•  things are going on around me, like the things in the room. i’m looking at things in a room.

•  i don’t feel anything (but person would not be conscious of not feeling anything, i think).

•  i’m being quiet now. some people act loud and make jokes and are seen around more people, and some people are quiet and seen around less people.

•  what type of person do i want to be? do i have to be one or the other?

•  i’m at an age where i’m deciding things like this, where i think there are only two major personalities i can have, maybe.

•  i would rather have friends than not have friends.

•  it seems harder/requires more effort to be talkative and make jokes.

•  i am alone, looking at things in my room, looking at the internet.

•  i feel more bad than good, because i think people are having more fun than me. i consider these people my ‘sources of my misery.’

•  since i’m starting to think of things in terms of opposites/’sources of misery,’ it means there might be a real enemy out there, my enemy is my opposite.

•  my enemy, the loud person, is what made me notice my quietness, by defaultedly being louder than me and creating the position of ‘less-loud person,’ which feels limiting.

•  i want to seek vengeance on my enemy for showing me how i’m not like them, and for having more fun than me.

•  i’m going to ‘take back’ my enemy, i’m going to get them at their own game.

•  the internet allows me to be loud without saying anything.

•  what would my enemy not say: my enemy seems happy, so i must be sad.

•  i’m going to ‘shove it in the enemy’s face’ by saying ‘i’m so sad.’

i have no idea.