‘Oh.’

‘So all change, I guess,’ he says, rubbing his hands along his thighs. His gorgeous slim thighs, she notices.

‘But … it’s good, right?’ She’s trying to smile, but her voice sounds tight.

‘Yes. I’m pleased.’

Their eyes lock for a second and her heart is pounding. She wants to be cool, but feels too emotional. She doesn’t want him to leave. He’s managed to make her feel safe here and helped her cope with this strange new, independent life she’s living, but this news makes her realise that her life is horribly temporary. If he goes, she’ll have no one apart from the swimming girls. She consults her Fitbit. It’s half eleven.

‘I should go,’ she says.

There’s a flicker of disappointment in his eyes. ‘Sure.’

‘That was a lovely evening. I really enjoyed it.’

He nods. ‘Me too.’

She walks to the door, wondering what it is she’s broken, or how to break the tension between them. Because she’s definitely got this very wrong. She feels as if she’s been rude. She shouldn’t be leaving when he’s told her such a monumental piece of news, but what’s the alternative? She needs to be alone to be upset. She doesn’t want him to see her crumble.

‘We should do this again sometime,’ he says.

‘I’d like that.’

They don’t attempt to kiss – even on the cheek – as she leaves.

Maddy tries to walk calmly to her apartment door, aware he’s watching her. She opens it with the key and gives him a wave and he waves back. She imagines that he’s undressing her with his eyes, before she remembers that it’s just her fantasy and not reality at all. He gives her a neighbourly smile and wave.

She gets inside the door and lets out a sigh, slumping back against it, hearing the thudding of her heart. She’s like a bloody teenager, she tells herself. She picks up her phone and dials Lisa’s number, then thinks better of it and presses the red button. Lisa would say she’s being ridiculous. She is being ridiculous, with her stupid flirtation.

She goes to the kitchen and pours herself a large glass of wine. She slugs half of it down. Her phone buzzes and she picks it up, her heart leaping. Might it be a message from Matteo? Asking her to come back?

But it’s not a message from Matteo. It’s from Trent. It’s late and so he’s probably drunk, but even so, she’s not prepared for the words on the screen.

I love you Maddy. I always have and I always will.

She feels her nose stinging with tears. How dare he? How dare he throw her this curveball, when she’s confused enough as it is?

A gust of wind and rain batter the window and she crosses the room to close the shutters. Opposite, on the street, she sees the glow of the end of a cigarette as someone shivers in a doorway.

23

Quad Bike

After the grey days, the sun has re-appeared, and the sky is a dazzling blue, the sea a shimmering mass of diamonds. It could be the Côte D’Azur, except it’s February and bloody freezing. Claire shields her eyes with her hand and sees that the tide is going out, but it hasn’t reached the break yet. There’s a funny haze in the far distance hiding the wind farm. A perfect day for a swim.