‘Oh dear,’ Tor says.

‘I just … it’s just not the same. I can’t seem to get my head into it. I don’t seem to be able to care.’

‘Then do something you care about,’ Helga says.

‘You make it sound simple.’

‘Isn’t it? Surely life is too short to do anything your heart’s not in?’

‘You should go back to the Samaritans,’ Tor says. ‘I’d bet your old boss Bill would have you back in a heartbeat.’

‘I know. I’ve been thinking about it.’

‘Do it. It’ll give you something else to focus on.’

‘Yeah, maybe you’re right.’

Helga isn’t so sure. She doesn’t want the burden of other people’s problems, but then Dominica is very different to her. She’s got so much potential and it pains Helga to see her floundering without Chris. She knows she can’t interfere with her grieving process, but she wants to tell her that life is short. Way too short. Dominica certainly doesn’t want to get to Helga’s age and be contemplating the next ten years – if she’s lucky enough to have ten years – with nothing exciting on the horizon. Apart from the bloody retirement village. She’s received the brochure that Mette sent and it’s made her feel profoundly depressed. You can put all the glossy covers on it you want, but surely any kind of retirement village is still a waiting room for the grave.

Helga has always shied away from people her own age. She’s seen Judith, Will’s mother from next door, a couple of times in the past few weeks and invited her in for coffee when she got locked out. Afterwards, at Judith’s suggestion, Helga and Katie swapped spare keys. It’s not something Helga’s ever done before, but Katie couldn’t have been nicer, gushing about the sketch of Josh Helga did and how they’ve put it in a frame. But as friendly as Judith is, Helga doesn’t really have that much in common with her, when all she talks about is her grandchildren.

As Helga gets dressed and warms herself on the flask-lid of tea, she realises that she likes being among her younger Sea-Gals and she likes her status as the wise one among the group. At the same time, she wonders what they’d think of her if they knew that increasingly she feels a little bit afraid.

29

Home Hairdresser

Tonight, the food bank is up by the racecourse and Maddy offers to give Tor and Claire a lift home after their shift finishes. Tor’s grateful to Maddy for driving and for all her help. Tor’s van has been on the blink all week and she’s taken it to the garage. Fortunately, the money from the charity swim will pay for it to be fixed. She’s reached a hundred per cent of her target thanks to all the money Dominica raised in the office and, to her surprise, thanks to Alice, who did a whip round among her school-mother friends. Tor knows it’s an olive branch. They haven’t been talking that much since Christmas and Alice can’t bear it when they start to become estranged. So Tor called and quickly realised that the sponsorship money was a bribe. She’s been summoned to Alice’s for Easter.