“Why the hell not? Why do you want out of here so bad?” I grab my own hoodie and pull his arm. This time, he doesn’t fight me, and we go out the door through the kitchen into the backyard to have this conversation.

My mom is already in her room, and Luce is asleep, so I know we’ll have privacy out here. I release him, and he fidgets angrily with his hoodie, shooting a glare at me. “I need to get out of here. Can you please just listen to me? As your best friend, can you please just try to hear me?”

“Why?” His voice sounds broken and so alone and heartbroken, it nearly kills me. “Why do you want to get away so damn bad?”

“I just need to.” I don’t consider telling him the real reason because I’m a total chickenshit.

“No.” He shakes his head at me, pacing around the backyard, looking slightly crazy. His breath is visible in the cold night air as he faces me. “Tell me. I’m your best friend in the whole world. So tell me.”

“I can’t,” I say quietly, but it’s not good enough for him. He takes a step closer to me, his eyes visible in the moonlight and pleading with me.

“Tell. Me.”

“I can’t.” I say it louder, my hands starting to shake because I can’t. I really can’t. I don’t want to do it this way, but he’s pushing me.

His hand goes over his heart, white air escaping from his lungs. “Tell me why you want out so bad, Cam. I deserve to know.”

I can’t take it anymore. My resolve snaps, and I yell back at him, “You really want to know?”

“Yes!” His voice is loud, but I know the back door is closed, and the bedrooms are on the other side of the house. It’s just our conversation right now. Just Kingston and me.

“Fine. I’m eighteen years old, and I watch my little sister even more than my own mother does. I have to make good grades and keep up with sports, all while trying to help support them both. I’m fucking exhausted, and I’m a teenager.”

His shoulders slump slightly as he takes a shaky breath. “I know . . . it’s hard, but will college really change that? Can you really just leave?”

The truth is, I don’t know. “I want to. God, I want to.”

“So just because of that?”