We stand there for way too long, unmoving and freezing our asses off, just staring at each other before he seems to shake it off. It’s his idea to go back to my room, and when he strips and climbs into bed, wearing only his boxer briefs, and telling me to join him, I actually breathe again.

This is how we’ve always been. It feels normal, even though there’s still tension in the air.

I guess we really are just going to bury this down deep.

11. Kingston

ELEVEN

KINGSTON

My best friend is gay, and he’s in love with me.

And he just wants me to bury this and ignore that fact. How the hell am I supposed to do that?

Last night was weird, but then again, it wasn’t. We slept in the same bed, like we always have, but my mind was racing. I don’t know how I didn’t know it. How I didn’t see. It makes sense, now that I know.

He always hated when I tried to set him up with girls. It was almost like it was causing him pain, not just annoying him. And now, I know it’s because he was holding this huge secret all to himself.

I wish I could say I understand why he did and that I’m not hurt, but I am. Camden’s the best person I know. I just want him to be happy. I don’t care if he’s gay. I hate that he thought I ever could. That anything could change my mind about him.

I flop down on his bed, and he shakes his head at me fondly, pulling off his thick plaid jacket and leaving it on the desk chair before landing next to me. He worked today, cutting wood, and I went home for a bit. But now that he’s done, this is where I want to be.

We have school tomorrow, but there’s so many things I want to ask him before we have to face everyone else. Because things have changed.

No, I don’t look at him differently in any negative sense. Not at all. But he hid this from me, and I need to know more. I need him to know he can tell me anything.

“What kind of guys are you into?”

He rolls his head to look at me, his eyes wide. “What?”

I roll to my side, looking at him head-on. “You heard me. What kind of guy is your type? I mean, we know my type of girl seems to be blond and bitchy.”

He lets out a short, kind of confused laugh and eyes me suspiciously. “I thought we were going to drop this.”