I shake my head, tears forming in my eyes because I truly am exhausted. Keeping a secret so buried like I have is soul crushing and so damn draining. And the floodgates just open. “I want more. So much more than a town with two stoplights. With small-minded people. I’m tired of carrying so many burdens around. I want to live in a big city where people won’t judge me for who I am.” His brow furrows in confusion, and I look away, my voice strained, but I keep going. “I’ve been in love with my best friend for as long as I can remember. I need to get away because it’s not healthy being stuck where you’re always around what you can’t have.”

“You’re . . .” I can’t look at him, but I can hear the anguish in his voice. “You’re what?”

“Don’t.” I start for the door, needing to escape. But he grabs my arm and turns my body to face him.

“What did you just say to me?”

I try to pull away, but his grip is tight. “Let me go.”

He does physically, but his eyes hold me there. “I’m your best friend.”

I let out a deep breath, the cold air hurting my chest, but not as much as the fear in his eyes. “Yes.”

“You’re gay?” He’s processing it, and I can’t tell what he’s thinking.

“Yes.” I answer honestly for the first time out loud. I would cheer, but I can’t because he looks sick.

“You never told me.”

“No.” I shake my head, fighting tears. Fighting my shaking body. Fighting every instinct inside me that says to run. “I couldn’t.”

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me?”

I nearly laugh at that because he has to know. But he looks clueless. “Kensley isn’t exactly gay-friendly.”

“I’m not Kensley.”

“But you are,” I toss back because he is. He knows, and so do I. He’s usually proud of that fact.

“In love?” Even in the darkness, he looks pale.

“It’s my problem.” I place a hand over my heart, wanting him to understand this. “Not yours. Not at all. It’s on me. Please, just let it go.”

He looks hurt as his eyes search mine with confusion. “How?”

“I don’t know, but you need to bury it because I’m not telling anyone else. This is why I need out. I have to get out of here, Kingston. And as my best friend, you need to let me.”

“I . . .” I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him speechless before. I watch him swallow hard, his Adam’s apple dancing in his throat as he looks at me for more answers than I have. “Okay.”

I nod once, the motion shaky and unsure. “Okay.”