His head shakes from side to side and tosses the pencil back at me. I let it fall to the bed instead of catching it. “You need to finish your homework. And study for the anatomy test. If you fail, you’re getting benched, and you’re our best hitter.”

I want to make a joke about studying his anatomy, but I decide against it.

He wants to keep it this way, so I’ll do it.

I’ll do anything for him. Always.

34. Camden

THIRTY-FOUR

CAMDEN

“Fuck! Shit. Sorry!” I laugh, unable to help it as Kingston curses his way through the last inning of our last game. He’s more of a football player, and the ball he was supposed to be throwing to third base bounces out way too damn far.

But it doesn’t matter. Baseball is fun, but then, everything with him is fun. The guys give him a hard time for overthrowing, but I don’t care. It doesn’t matter that we lost, just that it’s over.

We’re graduating in a week. Prom was yesterday. We went with LeAnn and some of the guys from the team. None of us took it too seriously since mostly we were just looking forward to the after-party.

Kennedy brought a much older date, and I swear she was trying to get Kingston’s attention the entire time, but he wants nothing to do with her. I’ve never seen my best friend hate anyone, but he hates her, giving her a death glare any time he sees her.

I wanted to dance with him on that dance floor, even though I don’t dance, and I don’t think he does either. Still, I wanted to feel his body against mine.

But I kept my distance and danced with LeAnn, as did he. Then afterward, there was a kickass field party where we shared a tent.

Nothing happened in the tent. We just laid on our backs and talked about school ending. But the urge was there. I wanted to kiss him so damn bad. I always want to kiss him. My desire has only gotten worse since I’ve actually done it.

Since I know what it feels like to have his mouth on mine.

But I resist. This is our last game together. I’ve already started packing for college. I have my dorm assignment. I’ve even emailed back and forth a bit with my roommate. The first thing I mentioned was being gay.

It may not seem like a big deal to some people, but actually typing those words was more freeing and scarier than anything I’ve ever experienced before. I waited for his reply, waiting for some sort of insult or telling me he needed to switch roommates, but all he wrote back was, “Cool.”

Cool.