The day of the audition came and no one in the house had slept. After being up till two with Carson, I encountered David in the kitchen, pre-dawn. Madison had wet her sheets again, but he didn’t ask any more what I was up to, just seemed to take it for granted that I did the laundry before it was light out.

‘Christ, I hope she gets it,’ he said, switching on the coffee machine. ‘Can’t take much more of this.’

‘Can’t you help her? I mean, you know people.’

He blinked. ‘I’ve tried, believe me. The trouble is, you get a reputation.’

Huh? I waited for him to say more, but he didn’t, and the next moment Abby swept into the kitchen in her short blue dress, all dolled up at 5 a.m. She narrowed her eyes when she saw me there.

‘Oh, you’re both up. Casey, I’m leaving.’

‘Isn’t it at twelve?’ I said. The exact time of the audition had been practically engraved on my brain for weeks.

‘So?’ she said. ‘I don’t want to get caught in traffic. Make sure Madison practises her tap, OK.’

‘Good luck.’

She frowned as if I didn’t have the right to say that.

‘Good luck, honey,’ said David half-heartedly. ‘You’ll be great.’

Abby bit her lip. ‘Yeah – thanks. I know it, right? I’ve learned it back to front.’

‘Of course you have.’

‘Right. Yes.’

And then she was gone, and I heard the sound of her car start up. David let out a long, slow exhale, and I caught his eye. We both laughed, and it was another little spark between us. They weren’t much, these moments of connection, but I treasured them, storing them up like a running-away fund.

Rachel

Rachel

In weak moments there were certain things I did to keep the fear at bay. I went through my escape folder and checked all the details were up to date. I unpacked and repacked my go-bag, making sure to stock up on anything that had gone off, the cereal bars or the instant pasta in the sachets. I could have camped out for a week with those, if I had to.

The other thing I did – and I wasn’t proud of this – was call Jeremy.