At nights, David was always watching a TV show or a film in the lounge, but not to relax. He took notes, compared them with what he called his own development slate. Often Abby sat in the same room as him, but on the computer in the corner – I had never seen anyone with a home computer before, and wondered if they’d let me on it to check my email – or she would read a script. I never saw them sit side by side, or talk about anything other than the pick-up arrangements for the day. I wasn’t sure what was expected of me in the evenings, so I usually stayed in my room, until Carson woke up and it all started over again.

Madison had a schedule to rival an actress in her twenties. She had to go to school – that was the law – but she was allowed out for auditions, so I had to pick her up and drive her there, on to the lots of various studios around LA. Warner Brothers was a thrill, the famous water tower and the whiff of celebrity. I had thought I might chat to the other mums and nannies, but there was such a tense feeling of competition – the little girls eyeing each other up and criticising each other’s dresses – that it felt impossible. While Madison auditioned, I would sit in a waiting room and read a book I’d found in the case in my room. The Safrans didn’t have much in the way of fiction, mostly just books on film or motivational self-help texts. I’d brought my acting textbooks, but I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing to ‘break in’. Here I was, living in the house of a film producer, and no closer to my dreams. If they even were my dreams, and not Jenna’s. Did I even like acting, or just the fantasies of red carpets, pretty dresses? Attention?

I was so bored, so lonely, so isolated. I barely rang Jenna. I was so afraid that I might burst into tears and beg to come home, and she didn’t mind because she wasn’t a phone person, as she always said, and anyway, because of the time difference, I was only free when she was asleep. My friends from college had melted away – Jenna had always pushed me to be competitive, to look for an edge over them, so I hadn’t made that many. Keep your eyes on the prize, she always said. Well, I was here, and I had forgotten what the prize was. Persuade David to give me a part in a film? How to even broach the subject?