‘Thanks anyway,’ I say. I hesitate, not wanting to impose on his time longer than I have to. ‘You couldn’t do one more thing for me, could you? I promise it won’t take you long.’

He agrees and I tell him what I need. Within a minute he has given me the answer. ‘Thanks, Amit. I appreciate it.’

He gets up and shoulders his bag again. ‘No probs,’ he says, and then stops in his tracks. ‘Oh, just remembered.’

‘What?’ But he simply rummages in his bag.

After a moment he produces a book – the one I gave him. I am about to protest his returning it, but instead of handing it to me, he opens the covers and fishes out something from the pages.

‘Here,’ he says, ‘I found this.’ There’s a folded sheet of letter paper in his hand. ‘It was in the book. Thought you might want it back.’ He hands me the yin and yang patterned sheet. I open it and begin to read.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says sheepishly. ‘I read it. Wasn’t sure if you’d want it back.’

In a daze I walk to the door, expecting him to have followed me, but he has already sat himself down at a desk and started to arrange his books. I look across to say goodbye properly. And then as I stand on the threshold, half in, half out, I look down to read.

My heart is thumping.

Dear Xander

I do hope that you will take advantage of the house while I’m away. It’s going to be empty, after all, and I hate the idea of you being out in the cold.

Although you probably won’t believe me when I say that I still love you and that I always will, it’s true. In a way, we grew up together. I did so much of my growing with you, even if you didn’t. You always seemed to me to have arrived fully-formed into the world.

I skip the next few paragraphs because what is in them makes me so desperate that I can’t read them without feeling tears in my eyes.

And I wanted to thank you for the gift! Thank you so much, Xand. You know how much I love Jack and I know how much you hate him! So, I’ll treasure it all the more. When I play it, I’ll think of you. I want you to know that when I think of you, it’s always fondly, and when I think of you in the future, it will always be with love. I still remember you when I am in the museum garden. When I close my eyes, I can still see you sitting on our bench – you remember the one by the —

My eyes dart a little and I move to the end of the page.