There’s too much for me to process right now. I know myself. I need to go somewhere, cast away whatever of the world has stuck to me, so I can think clearly. I can get there, given time. I turn at the doorway to find Jan looking at me quizzically.

‘Where are you going?’ she says.

‘Back. Home. Or Seb’s.’

‘We have an interview.’

‘We’ve finished, haven’t we?’

‘Not with me. The police.’

‘What? Now?’

‘Yes, now, Xander. Are you feeling okay?’ she says, getting up.

‘Sorry. I didn’t … Did I know this?’ I say. The room seems to be tilting.

‘They want to interview you again this afternoon about the new evidence. That’s why you’re here. They made an appointment.’

My heart stops for a second.

‘Interview? I’m not ready for an interview. What new evidence? What are they going to ask me?’ I say, the panic climbing.

‘Stop,’ she says. ‘We’ve already been through this. It’s “no comment”. I don’t know what the new evidence is, something from the search, but it doesn’t matter. You’re way too hazy about the details to give them answers.’

‘I’m not hazy,’ I say, following her into the reception area. ‘You have to understand that I remember what I remember really clearly. I just – I just can’t be sure I’m remembering what I saw or if I’m remembering what I think I saw.’

‘Or when you’re remembering it from.’

‘But I think I saw her being killed. Surely that’s something I should be saying? If I say nothing, you yourself said it would look terrible.’ I track her to the pavement and stand there as she hails a passing cab.

‘Paddington Green Police Station,’ she says, getting in. The driver tuts at the pointless fare and then scowls when he sees me getting in too.

‘Look, Xander. You can’t say on tape, I’m not sure if it might have been me. You can’t even really say it to me. I’m borderline being professionally embarrassed here. If you say that in the interview, you may as well not even have a trial.’

The taxi lurches off.

‘But I changed my mind about that. I told you. I’m certain it wasn’t me. I couldn’t have done it.’

She turns her face and forces her eyes into mine.

‘When a murder suspect is asked whether he murdered a person, an innocent one says, “No, I didn’t”, not “No, I couldn’t.” Do you see what I’m saying?’