‘It was by the trunk that had the money in it.’ Seb calmly places it into her hand. I stare at her and then him. I didn’t see it by the trunk.

‘So, I lost an earring.’

‘It was by the trunk, Nina.’

‘What trunk?’

‘The one that used to be our coffee table. The one with all the money in it,’ he says, raising his voice.

‘I’ve never even been in your goddamned loft,’ Nina says, her voice piercing the air. And as soon as she says it, she stops, and then sighs.

‘I didn’t say it was in the loft,’ Seb says.

‘Oh, where else was it going to be?’ she says and sits back down. ‘Get me a proper drink.’

‘You stole it?’ I ask.

‘Don’t be so sanctimonious, Xander. You stole it in the first place. It was Grace’s money. You dropped her and then emptied her account.’

‘Dropped her?’ I say, incredulous at the accusation. And even as I say it, I realise that of all the things Nina is saying to me, this is the thing that hurts most. ‘She left me. You know that, Nina. You do know that?’ My voice now is the one inflected with anger. The earth is shifting beneath me. I don’t know who I am if I am not the person who was left broken by Grace. I can’t be misremembering this.

‘I know what I know,’ she says, her tone flat.

‘Is that what she told you?’ I say. ‘That I left her?’

‘No. She didn’t tell me that, Xander. She wouldn’t tell me that – she didn’t have to. She was destroyed when you left.’

My head reels and I can’t seem to grasp a still moment. I need something to anchor me, a thought, a reliable thought that is beyond shifting. I find nothing. And so, on I spin. In the background, I hear Seb questioning Nina urgently about the money and her responding in slow, liquid tones. I catch splinters of conversation as I spin on and on.

Where is it now? Xander needs it. The police. Police? POLICE? Murder investigation. It could be evidence. We need the money back, Nina. It’s gone.

Xander.

‘Xander,’ she says.

‘Nina! Don’t.’

And then I am here, my face stinging from her hand. The room has become still. Nina and Seb flushed as if they have stepped off a fairground ride. They have been talking but to me they’ve done it all as if behind glass. All I can think of is this – that Grace said that I’d left her, destroyed her when I did. I can’t make any sense of this. Through the fog I see Seb gesticulating at Nina, as if calming her. She is close. Too close to me. And now she is pushing against me as Seb restrains her. Everything is imbued with a muffled, dreamlike quality.