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Back I have to live Save as PDF
Contents (82)
  1. Contents
  2. One
  3. Something softens me
  4. And a withering pear I can’t eat.
  5. Considering
  6. I have to live. There’s stuff inside of things.
  7. What is bread?
  8. In the dream
  9. I sleep in a room.
  10. In my nipple is an eye.
  11. I am in love.
  12. Dec 31, 2014
  13. Aquamarine and topaz
  14. Everywhere there are men, there are men
  15. When I leave here I don’t know where I am.
  16. Two
  17. I like it when we give the world to itself
  18. I can’t believe I agreed to go to work today.
  19. I fold in half
  20. One headline said 5 minutes early is on time;
  21. I am an angel but I respire.
  22. “The Bay Area”
  23. Advanced Adulthood
  24. What’s the big fucking deal about
  25. Today I could aspire but I want to nap
  26. Your yes, yes.
  27. Adornment is exaltation enacted.
  28. It’s Saturday. I meet you, get soft.
  29. I spread butter on the darkest rye
  30. My duty is to tend
  31. He thinks I should be glad because they
  32. His thumbs were
  33. Because I was being flown to Kelowna for a reading and he lives in Nelson
  34. Regardless
  35. Three
  36. In August I visited my Gran.
  37. Strong basic love
  38. Happy Cup
  39. I defer to you.
  40. Blood
  41. Rat vs. Lamb
  42. A beach.
  43. I was born and I lived
  44. I wore a mint-green Donna Karan suit in the Lincoln LS commercial.
  45. The landlord said he lost his phone.
  46. I want to walk the park with you
  47. Hi.
  48. I take a medicine.
  49. I decided that I was a planet and I was a planet.
  50. The crease
  51. I said no
  52. So I have a brand new set of markers
  53. Five
  54. I was a born a baby.
  55. Eighteen degrees Celsius Zagora No events Mostly cloudy
  56. The goat
  57. I cut my horns
  58. My anger is hope for my own righteousness.
  59. The coo of the common emerald dove is the sound of Venus.
  60. I have to live lest I die-live.
  61. It’s why I was born.
  62. Six
  63. I told you.
  64. How much of your body is your head.
  65. The trick to being funny by Aisha Sasha John.
  66. I couldn’t win with my brother because I was born.
  67. Thanks.
  68. I’ve seen stuff always.
  69. For you and all your siblings and friends and husbands or boyfriends.
  70. Seven
  71. I removed the snake ring.
  72. Pussy pain.
  73. The reassuring thing about life
  74. Psychic = Self-believer
  75. The year of being selfish. The year of being relaxed.
  76. I find the book.
  77. I get my power from pleasure. And I get my pleasure from pleasure, too.
  78. I’m on the back of something.
  79. I’m not dead.
  80. I’m not gonna die of love.
  81. I have to live. I’m married to love.
  82. Acknowledgements

I decided that I was a planet and I was a planet.

I had to.

I decided that I was a planet and –

I am.

I want to love.

I see old women

Who live.

They know something.

It’s true I’ve suffered

The delusion

That I am unlamblike.

But oh my gosh that’s crazy.

Though it doesn’t matter where I sit

And that I’m fucking crazy.

God gave it to me.

I have to live.

It doesn’t matter where I sit

And that I’m fucking crunchy.

I have to be fibrous

So as not to be consumed.

I have to

Fucking live.

I can live –

In the world –

With the people.

I can live in the world with the people if they understand that

All a poet is is some bitch

Who thinks she’s better

And feels sort of bad about it

But not, not really that bad more like

Feels bad

For feeling bad

At all.

Also, I need a lot of money.

So I could have a lot of money.

That’s why I need it.

I need a lot of money.

So I can have it.

Because I need to have money.

The crease

In the jeans

At the top

Of her thighs.

The pink and red

Oily flora

Of this

Bus-riding man’s

Nose.

The hard snow cone of his belly.

Did you see us?

We were in June.

Westbound.

I looked at his bracelets.

The flesh

At the cutout of his knee brace

Was like a dick in a fist.

I said no

I said yes

I said no

Wasn’t happy.

I never get these.

And the Christ said

Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani.

Anyway

It doesn’t matter

What happens in

My life it’s

My life.

I’ll never hate it.

Still,

I don’t want it revealed I’m uptight.

(I’m uptight.)

Sigh.

There was a point when if I had to get

One of the hot deli pastas I’d get the large one.

These days I get the small. (And a Limonata.)

I can eat my pasta on a blanket in the park

Alone.

People will or won’t

Stare at me.

I’m practising.

I have to live

In the day

At the park

Being

Looked at

Even.

So I have a brand new set of markers

And a couple bags of chips.

Yea, my hand is not steady

But my heart wet

And lithe.

Lend me your neck or your palm

And I will draw something ugly by accident.

Five

I was a born a baby.

I didn’t have any teeth.

My favourite lady

Was there.

I cried

Due to the fact of

Air.

Her hair was thick and waved

And black and mellow.

My boots have holes.

She buys me high-tops.

The allegory of the $50 high-tops.

At first they felt too full the ankle support

Overwhelming

And now I am like

Heel cushioning: Praise God.

Let’s hope no one destroys me.

Also I need a costume.

I made a dance; I need a costume.