‘Me, Will and his best man! I texted you like you told me to?’

I roll my eyes, not remembering a thing outside of work for the last few days.

She stands before me, hands on hips. ‘I saved you some salmon, but it’s probably gone off in the heat,’ she says sulkily, slamming the basket on the kitchen counter. ‘Where the fuck have you been?’ She folds her arms and stares, waiting for an explanation, then sniffs the air. ‘Have you been smoking? No bridesmaid of mine is a smoker. It stinks in here.’ She opens the other kitchen window, faux coughing and looking at me in disgust. I lean against the kitchen side, groaning.

‘What?’ she says, accusingly. Then looks at me again, seeing past her own annoyance and through to the reality etched on my face. ‘What’s happened?’

I open my mouth to try and explain everything and nothing comes out but a sob and stream of consciousness that even I can’t decipher. It starts with Susan and Rhys, but shifts to Daniel and Natasha and the baby bump from hell before moving back to the fact we’ve lost Susan and this afternoon’s sudden urge to kiss Mark. When I finish she reaches for the box of cigarettes herself and lights one up, taking a drag and passing it to me. ‘Blimey!’ is all she can say.

We sit together for a moment, sharing the cigarette in silence. We both blow smoke in the general direction of the kitchen window.

‘What am I going to do, Lou?’

‘Go out and get wasted?’ she jokes. I roll my eyes. ‘When I went into nursing, I didn’t really think about this sort of thing. I’m not even sure I thought about career progression.’

‘From what I recall, you specifically opted to train as a nurse because they had the best nightlife during training.’ She nudges me, trying to raise a smile.

‘Feels like a lifetime ago,’ I say, briefly lost in nostalgia. ‘A life with few responsibilities and a bank account swollen with student loan.’

‘Lots of fun.’

‘Lots of boys.’

‘LOTS of boys!’ she teases.

‘Until I met Daniel.’

Lou nods, offering me a final drag of the cigarette before throwing it out of the window.

‘Did you know she was pregnant?’ I ask. ‘And, like, a lot more pregnant than the seven weeks or so we’ve been apart.’

Lou pouts, looking at her feet. ‘I’d heard, but didn’t know for definite.’ She lets out a whistle. ‘I didn’t want to upset you if it wasn’t true!’

‘Oh, it’s true alright.’ I smile, sadly. ‘She is most definitely, one hundred per cent up the duff with my ex-boyfriend’s baby.’ I sniff. ‘Bet the bitch doesn’t even get stretch marks.’

‘At least you can chase after the plumber now. Or the consultant. Who has the best career prospects? Who are you going to see most? Whose services might you get the best benefit from in a professional sense?’ She’s desperately trying to lighten my mood, and I love her for it, but now really isn’t the time. ‘Okay, alright. I get it,’ she says, checking her watch. ‘Look, I have to go, we’re meeting with the vicar tonight. Apparently they want to check our religious intentions. I have to pretend I’m a virgin and agree with the Holy Ghost or something.’ She plants a kiss on my forehead. ‘I love you. You’re going to be fine. Have some rest.’ I follow her to the door. ‘Call me tomorrow, okay? Let me know you’re fine. And avoid the salmon, just in case.’