I shake off the moment’s self-pity and look at my phone. What can I do, what can I do whilst I’m waiting? Rhys! He was getting through to her. He came back. Maybe she called him. I flick through my recent calls to find his number. I tap and wait, peering out of the windows for a break in the jam. As it rings out, a few more people get off the bus, which is enough encouragement for me to do the same. I jump into the gridlocked city-centre road as he picks up.

‘Kat, hi. Erm… how are you?’ A driver honks his horn as I nip through the traffic that has started crawling along the road. ‘Where are you?’ he asks. ‘It sounds like downtown New York!’

‘I’m outside the train station. I’m trying to get into work, but the traffic is awful and oh, fucking hell—’ The traffic starts moving just as I make it to the path down the side of the station. ‘Back on the bus or run for a tram?’ I ask Rhys.

‘Tram if I was you, sounds awful!’

‘It is. Right, tram.’ I start running, my bag banging on the back of my legs as I go. ‘Look, Rhys, have you heard from Susan? Is she with you?’ I cross my fingers, hoping.

‘With me? No. Why would she be?’

‘No.’ Shit. ‘Okay, don’t worry. Look, I’ll call you later. I have to go.’

‘Kat, why would Susan be with me? What’s going on?’

‘It doesn’t matter. It’s nothing. Look, I’ve got to go,’ I say, climbing the steps to the tram stop just in time to see one pulling away. ‘Fucking hell.’

‘Kat, are you okay?’

‘No. Rhys. No, I’m not okay. I am very far from being okay.’

‘What’s happened? What’s happened to Susan?’

I fall into a blue metal chair and my bag slaps onto the floor. ‘Susan has gone,’ I say, using my hand to cover my mouth. ‘This morning.’

‘What do you mean, “gone”?’

‘I mean gone. She has gone. She is not on the ward.’

‘Gone where?’

‘I don’t know where, Rhys. If I knew that, I wouldn’t be calling you, would I!?’ I take a short breath, trying to pull myself together. ‘She’s gone, Rhys. Taken herself off without telling us, gone. Disappeared into the night, gone. Not on my ward where she should be, gone. Are there any more types of gone you’d like?’

‘No, no, no! She can’t!’ he shouts.

‘She has.’

‘Why? Why would she do that? Why now?’

‘I don’t know, Rhys. I don’t know. But she has and we can’t find her and not only am I frustrated but I’m… I’m terrified.’

‘What can I do?’

‘Nothing. Not really. Just let me know if you hear from her. Okay? Please, straight away.’

‘I’m going to her house. See if she’s there. Maybe she—’

‘No! No, don’t, Rhys.’ His response is more dramatic than I expected. So now I’m panicked about Susan and concerned about Rhys. ‘Look, I’m going to have to call the police and register a missing person anyway. It’s fine, Rhys, they’ll get in touch if they need to talk to you.’ I’m not sure he’s listening.