Four minutes into the call, she could hear Lisa floundering, trying to redirect the conversation. But Harding seemed bent on venting to anyone that would listen. In Quantico, during training, most agents had been forced to listen to recorded stage negotiations or the ramblings of murderers just to get a feel for it. Nicholas Hardings session reminded her of those classes.

The only person that is going to give a fuck if I die is the crew that has to clean it upbe that the cops, some city worker, whoever. This has been a long time coming and Im sort of pissed with myself that I havent done it already.

Well, surely theres some reason for not doing it if you feel so strongly about it, Lisas voice responded. Maybe deep down you know theres a reason you want to still be here.

Oh sure, theres a reason. Im a coward. Its one of the few things I am certain about.

The conversation went on for fifteen more minutes. The last thirty seconds were tense and it still baffled Rachel that the police werent called. She understood the point of protocols but sometimes she also felt they needed to be pushed aside for the well-being of others.

Nick, are you sure there isnt someone you can call? Lisa asked. Maybe someone you can speak with face-to-face?

Theres no one. Anyone that would have spoken to me a year or so ago has turned their backs on me. I know I deserve it. Ive ruined every relationship and everything else I touch. I just…Jesus, this is pointless.

Nick, if you just

Dont worry…Lisa, was it? I think Ive talked about it just enough to back out for the fifth or sixth time. Thanks for taking the call.

Nick, you know if you

But Harding ended the call. There was silence in the room, as if the call had taken place right there and then and they had all been hung up on. Rachel saw a few tears rolling down Lisas face and she almost wanted to speak up and excuse the woman.

With slow hands, Shelby started playing the third call, the call that had come last night from Edwin Newkirk. Rachel noticed that Lisa looked on edge the entire time. It was the posture and expression of someone watching a horror movie, just sure that there was a jump scare coming up at any second. They all listened intently, the room in absolute silence.

After the routine introduction, Edwins voice came in, low and uncertain. Yeah, I…I dont know. I feel off. Ive thought about it before, but maybe with a gun. But I know someone will have to clean it up, you know? He laughed here, nervously, and added: I was a Nirvana fan. When Kurt Cobain killed himself and those pictures from the scene were released years later…it chilled me. I thought it might be a good way to go out, but…