“I know. Of course.” It didn’t mean I needed to hear about it.

“Then why do you look like I just punched you in the gut?”

Twenty-Six

Kane

It’s a crazy thing—life with women or love or lust and regret and guilt. All of it screws you up, until I wasn’t so sure what I was feeling anymore when I thought about Ava. I didn’t know how much it had to do with Emmersyn, this sudden shift and lack of pain when I talked about Ava in the last couple of weeks. Maybe it was my constant state of attraction to the woman standing in front of me, looking exactly how I just accused her.

Maybe it was the passage of time and a shift in perspective I hadn’t considered, but when I thought about Ava, ever since I kissed Emmersyn, it didn’t hurt so much anymore. It was more of a weighted stone, low in my gut. That heavy feeling reminding me I’d done something wrong, hadn’t given my relationship all I could.

I rubbed my chest, feeling that familiar pinch of pain which I think I was starting to learn wasn’t a broken heart, just an old guilt for hurting a good woman.

And damn. What a time to realize it.

“Come on.” I held out my hand to Emmersyn. We didn’t need to talk about Ava anymore. “I had a hell of a day and need to relax and would like to do it with you.”

I wiggled my fingers. With a hesitation to her step, Emmersyn came around the kitchen bar and slipped her hand into mine. “What did you have in mind?”

“Time in my sauna?”

Her green eyes sparkled. That playful spirit of hers I was so drawn to these days emerged as she shrugged. “I mean. What else do I have to do?”

I could think of a dozen things I could do with Emmersyn, including many in the sauna.

“That’s the spirit.”

I held her hand until we were to the top of the stairs and brought our interlocked hands to my mouth. “Change into a swimsuit and meet me in there?”

“All right.” Her lips parted in surprise as I kissed her.

Ever since I kissed her, I’d been unable to stop thinking about her, and thank God I finally knew how good she tasted. “I’ll be waiting.”

It was five minutes later when she opened the door. I’d slipped into a pair of swim trunks and was sitting on a towel. Usually, I didn’t bother with the swim trunks, but I didn’t actually want to scare her by being naked when she walked in.

My head was resting against the back wall, eyes closed. The heat was atrocious and perfect, sweat was already making my skin shine, but damn, I loved this thing. Twenty minutes a few times a week in here, and I was a new man.

The door creaked as she opened it. She inhaled a quick, harsh breath as the heat slammed into her. I peeked open my eyes, caught sight of her cobalt blue string bikini—not something I had bought for her which meant she'd gone shopping and promptly closed my eyes again.