We’re leaving,

she says

between her teeth.

We’re leaving here now.

She has my arm then.

Momma pulls me to my feet

and her fingers are

tight

tight

tight.

I’m not going,

I want to say,

but the words will not come

out of my mouth.

Momma is close then,

close to my face,

and I can smell something

that makes my stomach

turn, though I

am not sure what

it is.

Go on now, Hope,

Mari’s momma says.

Go on with

your mother.

No,

says Mari,

and she

reaches for my

other arm.

She can’t go

with her.

She’s staying here

with me.

Marianna!

Mari’s father says,

and he sounds

surprised.

But Momma

doesn’t seem to

hear any of that.

Momma just bores holes

into my skin with

a look that could fry flesh.

You think I got time,

she says,

to mess with you?

She leans into my face

and Mari tries to

pull me away

but Momma is lots stronger.

I don’t have time for any

of this,

she says.

I’m going.

And Momma looks at me again.

I got places to go,

she says.

And I see so much

in that look.

Hear so much in that voice.

That she did hurt my sister.

That she doesn’t care about

Liz

or me,

for that matter.

And that life with her

will never

change.

We stare at each other.

The room is more than quiet,

like we have all died

or are getting ready to.

I told him,

I whisper.

I told him what I read,

I say louder.

They know now,

I say.

They know what

you did to

my Liz.

I am not going with you.

Now my voice is loud

enough that everyone can hear

and Mari’s mom says,

Hope?

And Mari says,

Mom, don’t.

Momma lets loose of

my arm.

You told them?

she says.

My eyes fill up with tears.

I’m not sure

if I can live with my

decision.

But I cannot forget

Liz,

my sister Liz,

and those words

on wrinkled diary pages.

I stare back at Momma.

She shrugs.

No one will believe you,

you little slut,

she says.

She pushes past

everyone.

I’ll see my own way out.

And then she’s gone.

113.

I don’t see Momma

again.

For three weeks, I wait,

thinking maybe she

will come back.

But she doesn’t.

First, I tell Mari

Momma’s gone,

then I go and visit

Miss Freeman

who folds me into her

body and

says,

You can stay right here, honey.

Maybe,

I say,

maybe I can help

you at the store.

I’m good with adding.

Good with money.

Maybe you can,

she says.

Last thing?

I call Dr. Marino

one more

time.

114.

The state

says Temporary Custody

with Miss Freeman,

just for a little while,

and then I can

stay

with my grandmother,

if I want.

If she wants too.

But I don’t know

my father’s mother

that well.

I want to stay here,

I tell the judge.