while looking through

the fridge.

No,

Lizzie said.

Momma’s lips made a line

—like a dash—

and she said,

I got me a new job.

Then she smiled.

A good job.

It’ll take time,

this job. I’ll be

busier.

Momma walked over to us,

smoothed my hair,

patted on Lizzie’s shoulder.

We’re gonna have us some money.

More than now.

She squatted down till I could see,

in her eyes,

a bit of me

and a bit of Liz

and the light

from the fridge.

I’ll be working more and more,

she said.

And I expect you two

to help out around here.

Lizzie nodded.

Okay, Momma,

she said.

And I said,

Okay, Momma,

too.

Momma thought.

Then she said,

It is your job,

Liz,

to take care of your

little sister.

And you, Hope,

Momma said

her finger pointing like

she meant it,

you take care of Lizzie.

You hear me?

I nodded. So did

Lizzie.

Then we grinned at each

other,

showing our teeth.

All right then,

Momma said.

We are a team.

The Chapman Girls’

team.

Let’s go get us some

McDonald’s

for dinner

’cause I got money.

And she waved two twenties in the air.

I was so glad

she was home

and safe

and we were headed

to McDonald’s,

a team.

11.

Daddy,

I know,

did not mean

to leave us—

though

Momma sometimes

sees it was

me

and Liz

that sent him away.

He was coming

home

to all

of

us,

bringing

cough syrup for Lizzie

from the Piggly Wiggly,

when

he got himself

killed on that

motorcycle

of his.

Damn motorcycle,

Momma

said.

Damn cough that

Lizzie had.

Damn

damn

damn.

And I agree.

12.

It’s my job now

(like it was then

when we were

almost six and seven),

I know it,

to make Lizzie

happy.

No matter that I am

younger,

that I am

almost thirteen and she’s

fourteen.

The two of us

work hard

for

the two of us.

And have

since

the olden days,

with Momma

changing

more and more

as time passed

and it became clear

that all the praying

she did

would never bring

her dead husband back

and all the praying

in the world

me and Lizzie did

wouldn’t keep

Momma from falling

in her own work

and away from us

more and more.

13.

So we grow up alone

without Daddy

with Miss Freeman

looking in on us

from time to time

with Momma busy

more and more.

Me and Lizzie.

Together.

Until it all begins

with that

gun.

14.

Last night

me and Lizzie

sit

in the dark,

sit on my bed,

in the quiet of

night.

We’re all grown up,

I think.

But we are

having us some

troubles.

Now all I can hear is

our breathing,

and from outside,

the frogs and crickets

singing nighttime songs.

I can see the shadow shape of

trees. A light wind
moves the leaves

like a waving hand.

I talk soft at the

side of Lizzie’s head.