I wanted to just as much as I was terrified at the prospect. She wasn’t wrong—I could feel the desire to convince him of my feelings for him niggling at the wall of despair I’d built. At some point, it would chip away and bust through. But now? So soon?

“If I go talk to him now, he’ll never hear me. And even then … Ivy, he doesn’t believe this is what I want. That I’d choose him.”

“Then prove it to him.”

“How? He doesn’t trust my word. My job is forfeit. If he won’t listen, if he doesn’t trust me, then what do we have anyway?” I caught my breath, swiped at my nose. “I don’t even know what I’m going to do with my life. Natasha and Addison will make sure I can’t get a job with any New York firm. And I just bought an apartment.” Tears sprang again. “I’ll just flip it. I already have loans in place for renovations. Maybe I can make enough money to live off until I figure things out. But Kash is going to have to wait. I just wish it felt like he was the least of my problems. He feels like my only problem.”

“Do you think Natasha will go after Longbourne?”

“I don’t think Natasha bullshits when it comes to revenge.” Worry tightened my heart as I imagined the fall of the Bennets’ legacy. “This is all my fault. I never should have dragged him into it, and now, everything we worked for is ashes.”

Ivy reached for my hand. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but everything is going to be okay. One day, this will be behind you. It’s hard to see when you’re down in the dirt, I know. But I promise, it’s all going to work out.”

“I hope you’re right.”

“It’s common enough that I think you can count on it.”

With a quiet laugh, the baby cried, the sound moving closer with every one of Dean’s footfalls. I watched them as they made the handoff, the purest adoration on their sleepy faces.

For a moment, I’d naively thought that could be me. But maybe Kash was right. Maybe we were too different, from different worlds, with different dreams.

Even if for that beautiful moment, he’d been my only dream.

27

All You Ever Wanted

LILA

I tugged at the hem of my Armani suit coat as I stepped into the elevator to meet my fate.

Anxiety scratched at me, knowing how unpleasant the confrontation would be. I’d be chastised, made to feel wrong. And in many ways, they wouldn’t be mistaken.

In all the other ways, fuck them.