It was me who broke the kiss, leaning back to look down at her. To admire the flush in her cheeks and neck, the shine of her swollen lips. I held her jaw, thumbed the bottom swell, my own lips tingling at the phantom sensation of connection.

Those lips smiled idly as her arms circled my neck, fingers twiddling my hair. “That was maybe the stickiest fuck of my life.”

“Then you haven’t been living.”

The sweetest laugh slipped out of her, quiet and adoring. “I’m filthy.”

“I like you filthy. Although …” I leaned back farther, inspecting her dramatically. “You know, I think I cleaned you up pretty good. Oh, wait,” I said, angling for her neck. “Missed a spot.”

She giggled, neck arching to cradle my face as I took a moment to taste her neck once more.

When I leaned back again, my eyes traced her face as my hand smoothed her stiff hair, and she sighed happily, the sound hitting me deep in my chest.

“You did it again,” she said.

“Did what?”

“Made me forget every bad thing in my life.”

“I told you that’s my specialty,” I said with a sideways smile and a bottomless longing.

“You did. I just didn’t expect you to be so good at it.”

“I don’t do anything halfway, Lila.”

“No, you sure don’t,” she said softly. “Neither do I.”

Suddenly the moment was too much, too real. And so, I kissed her, held her face in my hands and washed it away. We didn’t need to speak it. I didn’t need to know anything beyond that this was good and right, and that the girl beneath me was broken and unready for more than this. And that combination was dangerous as dynamite.

When I backed away, she mewled, her hands trailing my arms as they moved away like she didn’t want to let me go.

“Come on,” I said, snagging her hand to pull her up. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

“If I have to.” She pouted, but when I scooped her into my arms, she squeaked, grabbing me around the neck, hanging on like I didn’t have her on lock.

“You have to,” I insisted as I carried her to the bathroom. “Because I’m about to fuck you in that fancy bed, on those fancy sheets, and nobody wants to sleep on cake.”

She chuckled, settling her head into the crook of my neck. I pressed a kiss to her forehead, savoring the moment, not wanting to let her go.

I didn’t want to let her go. One day soon, I’d have to.

For the first time in my life, I wished I was something else. Something more. Ambitious and successful and rich. Powerful. I wished I was the kind of man Lila wouldn’t just fuck.

I wished I was the kind of man she’d keep.

15

An Arrangement

KASH