“Maybe I don’t.” Regret, heavy and thick, filled my ribs. “I was so sure she’d taken it.”

“Just like you were sure she would sneak around with Brock? Or that she would ever tell Addison Lane the truth of her feelings?”

When she put it like that, my regret turned to shame.

“You’re smarter than that,” she said.

“I dunno. I think your little speech convinced me I have the IQ of a worm,” I joked, not at all feeling funny.

“Well, you are a worm right now, but usually you’re at least a beetle. Or a gopher.”

“Graduated to mammal? I’ll take it.”

She chuckled, but my half-smile fell.

“I was wrong.”

“You were so wrong. About everything, except punching Brock. Man, I wish I’d been there. Thank God for the internet—that video has been going around social media on a loop since you hit him.”

I held up my hand, knuckles out, to show her the damage. “Worth it.”

“I bet it was. And it meant a lot to her too. You were the only person who didn’t lie to her.”

“And then I dumped her for lying to me.”

She gave me a look that said, Yeah, dummy.

“What do I have to do?” I asked half to myself. “Will it even matter? Have I ruined everything?”

“Of course not,” she said gently. “She loves you, Kash. All you have to do is tell her you love her too. Oh, and apologize for being a soft-headed ass monkey.”

“Ass monkey?” I said on a laugh.

“Dingus. Dickasaurus. Asshat. Dumbassador. I can go on.”

“I think I’ve got it.”

“Good.” The baby mewled, and Ivy bounced gently, her hand on the baby butt patting in time. “Now, figure out how to make it right. And if you ever hurt her again—and I mean ever—I will not just call you names. There are a lot of things in this greenhouse that can be used as a weapon.”

“I dunno, Ivy—your name calling is no joke. And your mom voice is scary.”

“I know, right? It’s exciting to wield this kind of power.”

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Too late.”

For a moment, we were silent as I tugged that thread between Lila and me at last, figured out how to reel it in, pull her to me.

I should have trusted her. And I vowed never to make that mistake again.

I only hoped I had the chance to prove it to her.

As a plan unfurled in my mind, a smile spread on my face.

An answering smile spread on Ivy’s. “You have an idea.”

“Maybe. Will you help?”

And that smile split until I could see her molars. “Of course, dummy.”

30

First and Always

LILA

“That’s it. Get out of bed,” Ivy said just before my comforter was ripped away with a snap and a rush of cold air.