But when I put the dress on, just as I was zipping it up, thinking that it looked pretty good, I heard a damning ripping sound.

“Fuck.” I turned to the side and found the source.

A tear right along the zipper, exposing my bra.

I stood there for a moment, wondering if I could just shove my purse under my arm and not breathe too deeply for the rest of the night.

No. That wouldn’t do.

But neither would any of the other dresses in my closet.

I was supposed to meet Gabe in forty minutes. I had to leave in ten.

This was my only option. I had to make it work.

Twisting uncomfortably, I managed to pinch the fabric together. Pulling a safety pin out of my desk drawer, and contorting enough that I was starting to sweat, I was able to pin the torn fabric to my bra. If anyone looked closely, it was a mess, but if I kept my arm down, kept my purse tucked against it, and prayed for dim lighting, I could probably make it through the evening without tearing the dress further and exposing the world’s most boring black bra.

Jo was watching TV on the couch. My toes were already hurting by the time I reached the bottom of the stairs, but the shoes suited the dress so perfectly that I decided to ignore the pain.

“Wow,” Jo said. “You look absolutely incredible.”

For all her sharp comments and condescending compliments, when Jo really liked something, she could be effusive with praise. It was what kept me from completely despising her.

“He’s totally going to fuck you,” she said.

“Thank you?” I said.

“Use protection. He’s probably filthy.”

I shook my head, both flattered and disgusted.

My phone rang. It was the car service.

“I have to go,” I said. “Thanks for doing my makeup.”

“Remember everything,” she said. “I’ll want to hear every detail. Shaved body hair and all.”

GO FUG YOURSELF

THE FASHION AT THE SHARED HEARTS PREMIERE

Oliver Matthias Checks the Box

DELICIOUS, DEBONAIR OLIVER MATTHIAS ONCE again delighted the senses with a green checked suit perfectly befitting his leading man status. This is how you show up to your movie when everyone has been talking about the part you didn’t get. You put on an attention-getting suit, have your hair styled to perfection, and bring one of the most beautiful women on the planet—Isabella Barris—as your date.

Even better if that date can’t seem to take her hands off you, while wearing a stunning vintage Versace gown.

Jacinda Lockwood Is Pretty Galore