I feel like I should quantify myself as well, but what can I say? I’m Gabe’s interviewer/fangirl/friend/who-the-hell-knows-what?

“This is Lena,” Lauren says, putting her hands on her daughter’s shoulders.

“Hey,” she says, looking at the floor.

Her dark hair is pulled back in a braid that’s coming undone around the ears, loose hair against her neck, which is extended like a giraffe’s. It’s clear she’s going to be tall, and also clear that right now she hates it. Her shoulders are pulled forward, like they’re trying to hide her.

“Hi,” I say.

“I’m hungry,” Lena says when her grandmother comes out of the back room.

“Me too,” Gabe says, and I can sense he’s trying to offset his niece’s rudeness.

I don’t mind. I might be ancient by Lena’s standards, but I can still remember what it was like to be her age. It sucked.

“Of course, you are, honey,” Elizabeth says, coat in hand. “Let’s go get some dinner.”

We take two separate cars to the house that Elizabeth shares with Lauren and Lena. It’s a beautiful two-story Victorian with blue shutters and trim.

“I bought it for them after Spencer died,” Gabe says. “Lauren didn’t want to stay in the old house, and I think it’s been nice to have my mom around.”

I nod as if I can understand what it’s like to lose a spouse or a parent.

“I’m sure they’re grateful for your help and support,” I say.

It sounds so bland, so meaningless.

“I was in a bad place when he died,” Gabe says. “It wasn’t my worst, but it was pretty close. I managed to pull myself together for the funeral and for a few months after, but it didn’t keep.”

His hands are still on the wheel.

“It’s true what they say,” he says. “That you can’t get sober for other people. Because if that was true, then I would have been able to do it for them. For him.”

Lauren’s car pulls into the driveway, and we sit there, watching as the three women go into the house. Gabe doesn’t move. It’s quiet and dark, and I see the lights come on inside.

“We all grew up together. Me, Lauren, and Spencer. He was in my grade, but the three of us were pretty inseparable. Until him and Lauren…”

Gabe lets out a breath.

“Spence knew my dad,” he says. “Which isn’t nothing. Him and Lauren were, like, disgustingly in love, but even if they hadn’t been, even if they’d never gotten together, losing him was a bit like losing my dad again.”